Are we dating? I'm not sure.

I have been talking to a guy for a month or so and we have hung out 4 or 5 times. We are both really busy with work/traveling (he's in the military), so it can be hard to find time to hang out, but when we do we end up spending 4 or more hours together. Sometimes I'll get a funny text from him, but we don't talk every day, and I don't text him a lot either. He's told me all about his plans for work and school for the next 2 years and we've talked all about his him doing backpacking trips pretty far away almost every weekend for the next 2 months because he is getting certified as a mountain guide.

Does he think we are dating? We live 45 minutes apart and he sometimes works late closer to my place. I want to let him know he is welcome to stay over on nights he's working late if it's easier for him, but I don't want him to get the wrong idea and think I want to be more serious (or that I have an ulterior motive) because I offered to let him stay.

I'm just confused because we are both so busy, so we don't see each other every week. I don't mind if he's busy, I'm just wondering when it changes from hanging out to dating.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Dating is when you make plans to do something together and follow through. If you are just chance meeting and hanging out, or meeting in class and wandering someplace from there, it is not dating.

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    • Thanks! We are certainly making plans and following through, it's not by chance. And he has even cancelled last minute, but then rescheduled the next day. We just don't see each other very frequently and can't plan things more than a week in advance because we both have such busy/unpredictable schedules.

    • It does not have to be scheduled way in advance and reschedules happen. But if you plan your getting together, that is dating.

What Guys Said 2

  • He might just like the comfort of a woman. A month is a short time. If he feels like he wants to date or its the right time he will step up and ask you.

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  • You should just forget him and get with me

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What Girls Said 1

  • you need to ask him but I wouldn't say it's a relationship

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