He is scared of getting too serious too fast. Did I do something wrong?

Long story short I was talking to this guy a lot for like a week. We texted back and forth non stop and Skyped about an hour a day. Everything seemed really great and we got along super well.

Problem is, a few days ago this all kind of stopped and he told me he was scared of commitment. Since then I have tried texting him and have gotten occasional short responses and he just says he's busy.

I just want to know if I did something wrong or if he is just really scared of getting too serious too fast. Also what do I do now?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • He's really just scared of going too fast. What you do is say "no problem" and start spending more time doing other stuff with other people - but when he DOES contact you, don't snub him. Be happy, upbeat, playful, and have fun. If you do that, he'll want to spend time with you. But by waiting for him to make contact first, you're letting him set the pace he's comfortable with. And by actually spending time doing other stuff with other people, you'll keep yourself busy so you aren't just obsessing over why you haven't heard from him.

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What Guys Said 8

  • Just try to get to know him; don't pressure him with too much contact.

    Let him get used to having you in his life, and he might rethink the idea of commitment. But you'll have to let him go at his own pace..

    Most guys are firghtened of girls who pressure them or constantly bombard them with messages.

    As if girls weren't the same way!

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  • 'it's not you...it's him' <= that's very true in your situation.

    Unless...you implied or said something about taking this relationship to a really serious level...that could be a reason why you may have scared him off. Or he's just young and stupid in his early 20s and is not ready for anything serious and wants one night drunken stands instead.

    There's not much you can do since he messed a good thing up. If it was meant to be...and he realized he made a BIG mistake, he'll come crawling back...don't you worry...or you find another guy that's ready to commit.

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  • either slow it down or move on. both options may suck, but at least he had the dignity to tell you.

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  • That's a lot of communication but have you even been on a date with him yet? Not sure why he would feel like he has committed to anything.

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  • You did nothing wrong. He's just scared of commitment and it's just that.

    About what to do now, you're better off finding another guy if you're just up for serious relationships.

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  • just tell him you want to be friends and don't be too clingy now if he doesn't appericate your presence

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  • I think you should move on cause he is looking for something else and you two don't make a match

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  • mebe, mebe not. most likely he just got out of a serious relationship. mebe he's just not ready for it and the speed you guys are moving at seems to make him believe that's where you guys are headed. just play it cool, let him contact you and everything. show him that you guys can take it as slow as he wants. itll let him be confident that its what he wants before you guys go any further.

    just my opinion

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What Girls Said 2

  • You did nothing wrong.. It's good he's being honest with you about being scared about commitment instead of just ignoring you. I would just leave him be and let him contact you, if he really cares he'll notice you back away. So let the ball be in his court, if he makes contact with you then good if not move on.

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  • Just cool it down, let him text you. An hour of Skyping a day is a lot!

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