Is he holding off on being serious with someone else because of me?

ok so I dated this guy for about one year and a 1/2 on and off..we broke up for the last time in 2007 and it was a nasty break up but have always managed to "find" each others friendship again. when we first broke up we ended up hooking up a cpl times..randomly. (we don't anymore since 2009).

ok so my question? I've dated other guys, fallen in love, moved on...and he seemingly has too, but evrytime we start hanging out (as friends) I find he's not dating anyone, or not "serious" , or breaks up relationships (because of our friendship)..if we hang out more than a few times..coffee whatever it always comes up..

"dont take it seriously or read too much into it, but I miss you, us how we used to be"

"your my first love, I will always love you"

always little comments like these..and then he'll inevitably try and make a move on me..kiss me whatever and then I get upset and I "need to chill out" ?

Am I bugging out over nothing..or does it seem like he's holding onto something and I should stop trying for us to be "just" friends.




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What Guys Said 2

  • Yes, it's because he can't feel the sensation and the love you give him when he's with other girls.

    You are the only person who makes his heart throb.

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    • i don't get it though? iv'e flat out asked him what his motives are..i don't want anything but friendship..and then he gets upset with me or cuts me off (stops texting or calling for months at a time) then out of the blue "how are you" "are you okay" like "i was giving you your space" but the last convo "i read too much into it" but am I wrong for thinking it if he makes moves?

  • Maybe he is just not the type to commit. If that is the case, should you really be with him? Is going back in and out of relationships too often a sign of an inability to commit?

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    • thats the thing, when we hang out and he's mentioning things "i shouldn't take seriously" he'll say something like "i could see us back together" but then like throws in something why it can't happen right after. almost like he can't compliment me without adding insult right after to justify it. And I don't want it back made it clear, but I just don't know what he thinks it is? like if he's playing "lets just be friends" with ulterior motives?

    • I'm not a counselor, but it seems that he is playing with you. It seems that he is confusing you on purpose. He'll say that you shouldn't take things seriously. Then he'll say something that makes you try to believe that he is serious. Then he'll do the opposite and try to joke around again. He probably gets a kick out of making you confused. Would it help if you saw a counselor?

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