I like my manager who I am not allowed to date

but he Always flirts with me. I am 25 and have 2 kids he's 26 and we have known each other for 5 months. I think I am really falling for him but I am not sure if he is just having fun at work or if he's into me. He always pushes me as he walks by. Once I came to work with my hair straighten and he seemed angry because he said what happen to your curly hair. The straight is boring. He also in front of other co workers joked about me wanting my kids to call him daddy and that I needed a DNA test to prove who the dad was even though everyone knew it wasn't possible because we didn't even know each other at that time. I think he was just trying to get my reaction about going to bed with him. But he is my manger and we are not allowed to date but I want him to ask me out so bad! Is he into me . Is the work code scaring him off or the fact I have two kids and he has none. Help me please!


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Most Helpful Guy

  • As much as you want him to ask you out, remember that it's never a good idea to mix work and pleasure, ie., dating someone you work with...especially your boss! Because if you have a bad breakup or fight, you won't be able to avoid each other on the job and you'll bring your personal drama to work with you where everyone can see it. Even if it goes well, people will accuse him of playing favorites with you, and they'll accuse you off trying to sleep your way to the top. :P I've seen this kind of thing happen before in the factory I used to work at: it didn't turn out well for any of them. Likewise, your manager's behavior is totally unprofessional and he could be fired or taken to court for that behavior. Even though you think it's flattering because you like him, to anyone else that would be considered sexual harassment. That comment about your kids and the DNA test sounds downright sleazy. If I were you, I'd avoid him like the plague and let HR know what he said. Remember, you have to be careful which guys you let into your life...if not for your sake, then for your kids'.

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What Guys Said 12

  • This is very simple:

    If dating him is important to you, FIND ANOTHER JOB and quit this one. If you aren't willing to do that, then clearly dating him isn't important enough for you to sacrifice to do so, and that means it wouldn't have worked out anyway.

    Dating someone you work with almost always turns into a disaster, and dating someone you have a direct reporting relationship with is even worse than that. How would you feel if you dated him, and then 6 months later, you find him flirting with other girls, or if he just broke up with you after a nasty argument. You'd still have to work with him every day, no matter how much he'd hurt you or how much you wanted to get back with him. You might even have to SEE him date other girls, and there's no way to get away from it. How would that affect your manager/worker relationship?

    Again, if you want to date him, QUIT YOUR JOB and go work somewhere else. Then you're fine.

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  • The guy sounds like a douche...Really immature for his age. If he truly likes you, the kids have no bearing...Meaning he likes you for you, not for what you look like. If I genuinely liked a woman and she had kids it would have no bearing on whether I asked her out or not. I care for you; the kids are an extension of you so thus I care for your kids. I would never joke around that they are mine, because it would make me look like a simpleton! My advice is to screen your potential suitors more aggressively, test them more extensively. An IQ test wouldn’t help…maybe a maturity test as well. A woman with kids would not scare me away, stupidity would.

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  • I can tell you that for me, as a guy without, kids scare the bajeezes out of me. Oddly enough my current girlfriend has three so that's not likely going to stop him if he likes you. Equally so the ethical factors are only a problem if he is uncertain how you would respond. He's your manager so it's unlikely he's going to risk a lawsuit in pursuit of you without a clear understanding of what's up.

    You need to stick your neck out.

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  • He's your boss: the day after the date could be awkward for at least one of both. (I've known at least one girl fired after a date with her boss didn't turn out the way he expected. Other officers intervened in her favor but it didn't help)

    Don't dip your pen in company ink.

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  • He might be into you, but I will *NEVER* try romancing in a workplace again. You have too much to lose. There are better places to look for love. If he rejects you, you will feel miserable the longer you stay in the workplace. Your performance will take a nosedive and you are likely to lose the job as well. 2 birds with one stone.

    If you are serious about him... change your job and THEN contact him.

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    • It depends a lot on the workplace. Where I used to work a number of people dated in the work pool and a number ended up married. But then our top level manager had met his wife there (before my time) so it was accepted.

  • It seems he's just having fun with you, and loves to tease you at work.

    Perhaps, you're really beautiful and he just want to have some little fun.

    The fact that he's a manager, he knows work ethics, and he knows that romantic interests shouldn't arise in workplaces.

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    • "The fact that he's a manager, he knows work ethics, and he knows that romantic interests shouldn't arise in workplace" the fact that he is a manager does not mean that he knows crap about his company or of management or even sexual harassment laws and policies. Have you never went to a fast food place and looked at their managers most are kids with no real life experience.

  • Wow, I can't believe how many people here work at places with policies against dating co-workers. Seems I've never worked at a place like that.

    Of course, I think that kind of a policy is to avoid sexual harassment issues, and since I've pretty much always worked with computer geeks and engineers, there is more of a issue with them getting up the nerve to ask someone out than there is with harassing behaviors.

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  • "Who I am not allowed to date". There's your answer. You aren't allowed to date him. Tell him to back the hell off. If you don't want to be teased, then don't let him tease you, BECAUSE YOU AREN'T ALLOWED TO DATE. Do you value your job? Your career? If so, then listen to what you already know.

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  • I would arrange a works night out. Everyone will have a few drinks or a few to many and you might both be a bit more at ease with the whole work thing and break the ice, People dating their manager secretly outside of work happens all the time.

    is it a company policy that you can't date?

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  • Actually his comments are close to 'suit' quality for 'sexual harassment'. Usually (more times then not) when a work place relationship goes south - it always effects someone, usually bad enough that one will quit or transfer. Also if it (dating) is against the companies policies and procedures it could cost one or both of you your job.

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    • I worked where several couples had met and married while working there, and at least two then got divorced. I'm sure it was awkward for them, but it didn't seem to affect their work or careers.

    • True, true but there are exceptions to the fact and then you also have the fact that they are NOT you. Financially, Professionally and personally - I would not risk it for an office romance. Part of the romance is the basis of the 'forbidden fruit' argument. Are you sure the relationship is not attractive due to the forbidden side of it...

  • does your work code say anything against just f*cking him?

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  • "I am not sure if he is just having fun at work or if he's into me. He always pushes me as he walks by."

    That depends. Are you six year-olds working on a schoolyard playground?

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