How do you recognize the guy who just wants to use you?

It sounds simple I know. But there are guys who go really far faking an interest in all your boring stuff just to get to the bedroom. It's like a game to them or sth. They like the ''hunt''. This just happened to my younger friend and she asked me how to tell. But I don't usually date guys like that, I don't usually date :D if I do it's usually a very different type of guys. Hence I"ve never been in her situation and don't know what advice to give her :/


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Most Helpful Girl

  • .1) KNOW WHAT YOUR OWN INTENTIONS ARE FIRST! make a list of everything you want in a perfect man (be realistic now) ie: steady job, honesty, can talk about anything with me, wants love and a relationship... ... and do not give your heart to a guy who does not fit your requirements.

    .2) have guys ask you out

    .3) Learn some communication skills. Go out with the guys and have a great time! Enjoy the moment! Make friends! TALK TO THE GUYS! ASK QUESTIONS! Learn about a guy and see where he feels his life is going.



    girl: "so how come you don't have a girlfriend?"

    guy: "well I'm not really looking for anything right now, I just got out of a relationship so I just want to better myself"

    .4) once you find out that he does not meet your requirements on your list because he is not looking for a relationship, then you already know what his intentions are and you do not have to worry about feeling used. You can continue to be JUST FRIENDS with the guy or maybe you can throw some sex into your friendship, its your choice.

    5.) If you have chosen to be just friends with the guy and do not have sex with him, and then he stops talking to you. That is how you know he just wanted sex. Let him go, usually you will figure that out after a week though because guys will not continuesly talk to you everyday, take you out on dates, spend time with you all the time! for months just to get some sex from you... or you could f*** him, it is your choice. If a guy really likes you as a person, then he will still be your friend and not pressure you into sex and he will go as long as you want him to without trying to have sex with you. Although he would still be getting sex from somewhere else, he still likes you as a person.

    CAUTION! If you know you catch feelings when you have sex, then do not have sex untill you are in a relationship. Do not have sex thinking that you are gonna make a man fall in love with you. Men do not work like that. Sex without being in a relationship is just sex!

    CAUTION! Guys that do want relationships can still have meaningless sex with a girl and will still think of sex as just sex if they are not in a relationship with you. So figure out what their intentions are before you give your goods up and then decide on your next step.

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    • :::EDIT::: CAUTION! If you know you catch feelings when you have sex, then do not have sex untill you are in a relationship or untill you both have fully communicated that you two are building towards a relationship.

What Guys Said 4

  • 1. We will want to talk and not expect much more at the end of the night. A kiss to us would be what other guys would call "scoring."

    2. No matter what position you are in, we won't use you. You're drunk, tired, depressed, etc. We won't say "come to my place." Instead, we will talk to you and try to cheer you up, take you home, and call it a night

    3. We respect you. This one varies from guy to guy, but ultimately we won't do anything that you're not hinting at or comfortable with.

    4. Our eyes are on you, and only you.

    5. We try to make you laugh and smile, even if it makes us look like a complete idiot.

    All in all...we tend to try pretty hard to see you smile.

    Remember, there's a difference between desperate and really into you.

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    • This is wonderful, especially 2.

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    • I"m not that worried about me :D It's my friend I wanna help. I have a type of guy I"m attracted to and can't really help myself with that I always fall for that type :D

    • Oh that's right! Well regardless, no girl deserves to be with a guy whose simply going to use them. So my comment extends to her as well. Best of luck to her!

  • You just said it, " Don't date guys like that" simple.

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  • Pay close attention to people when they are lying, dedicate yourself to observe that so you learn to detect lies. Also when you meet a guy check his Facebook, observe how he interacts with other girls, if he usually use girls he will probably leave traces of that, I mean: maybe he uses txhe same tricks and tell the same thing to different girls...

    I have a reverse question: I would enjoy having casual relationships with girls where they know what is going on, I mean no lies or faking. But how do I do that? I won't lie but I cannot be overly direct, so I have to be clear without being too obvious. And is necesarry to avoid confusion.

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    • I can't really help ya dude, I"d say no to that :/ I don't know what you can do about it. Search for .. let's call them ''easygoing'' girls, I don't know :D But thanks for the answer. Need to tell my friend to be suspicious :D

    • Haha problem is that easygoing girls go to an extreme I don't want to go. I mean as much as I find interesting casual relationships, I think is good to be selective anyhow. And being selective includes selecting other selective people. Easygoing girls aren't selective.

      But whatever, I will keep searching. Good luck to your friend.

    • Thanks :) and best of luck to ya too !

  • you kept using the word "usually" a lot, which means, you have dated guys like that even though you knew he used you but you went ahead anyway.

    so I ask you, why do you even ask this question?

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    • Ummm no, I"ve dated two guys and they both weren't like that. I use ''usually'' not to offend other girls. Don't play smartass and don't make guesses like that, you just seem hateful that way. Either answer the question or leave it...

What Girls Said 4

  • if he tells you about other girls, asks you if he can borrow money from you and not returning it to u/ paying you back, coming home late-night, not taking you out places, not giving you good sex, etc...

    if you feel uncomfortable or tense around someone then you know its not the right person for u!

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  • Stay around and look at his intentions.

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  • Never get drunk around men, and don't get physical until after he asks you to be his girlfriend, and even then you should wait a couple months before sex. The only way you can weed out the jerks is to wait him out. If he acts impatient or wants to take you home after the first date, that's a pretty clear sign.

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  • you have to be very sly. guys talk a lot but they won't REALLY make it official if they are just playing. when they ARE NOT just playing:

    they introduce you to friends and family

    they want to make you exclusive

    ^^these are two of the biggest signs.

    guys are smart and they know how to sweet talk and feed you lines. I've had it happen and all I can say is the bottom line is when they really like you they will try to make it into a relationship, EXCLUSIVE! lots of guys will talk and act all sweet but throw on the breaks when it comes to being official or letting you into his life for real, and TRULY opening up by showing you his friends and all.

    you just have to be very careful and experienced!

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