Do some guys just stop caring once they know a girl is interested?

I'm trying my hand at finding love online. I am also trying to meet people in person too, but I am having issues with that.

Anyway, I have been sending out messages and also replying to messages.

I met this one guy who I kinda like. But it just seems like now that he knows I'm interested, he isn't pursuing me as hard anymore. Before we met, he was constantly messaging me. Now we can go a day without a single message.

I understand people get busy, but when I met him he said his phone was attached to his hip. He'd be lost without it, so you'd think even though he is busy he would be able to shoot a quick text right?

Now this other guy I was messaging seemed pretty interested too. I gave him my number and he sends one text and basically just stops talking :S

What's the deal?

Updates:
Okay, tonight was supposed to be attempt number 2 at this movie date. He told me he was busy during the day, but at night he should be free. Well, it's almost 8pm and I haven't heard from him :( I guess I'm spending another Saturday night by myself :( I don't understand why he can't just keep his word, or at least let me know!


This is the second time I have been cancelled on TODAY! I had a coffee date earlier on with this other guy, he cancelled too! :( I give up :(

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Sadly a lot of guys are like this. The guys who enjoy the chase usually want to keep it up. Once they've "caught" you, the challenge and fun are over. Fortunately, most of those guys aren't worth being with and typically have a difficult time getting and keeping a relationship going.

    On the other side of the spectrum there are guys who genuinely want to meet a girl and get to know her. It looks like you're falling for the chasers who don't really know what they want once they get you.

    You also mentioned that the first guy lost interest when you two actually met. Did something happen that could have turned him off?

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    • Nothing happened, at least going back on the situation, I can't see anything that happened that would have turned him off. We met for coffee, talked for 45 mins. Then he said he had to go (he works early). He texted me last night to make plans with me to go see a movie today, he told me to text him when I got home, I did at 11:30, now it's almost 3:30 and I haven't heard back. I'm not too impressed. I can understand if something came up, but still, it's kinda rude!

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    • Thanks for your help :)

    • Don't mention it. Keep us updated!

What Guys Said 4

  • Well online dating is tricky. I was luck enough to meet someone fantastic, but that was after two years of many many many failed attempts. Most people are not sincere online. If I were you, I would keep my options open. Anyone that says there phone is their life line, or "attached at the hip" I would keep my distance from. (Unless there is a medical emergency, or something along the lines of that). Social media, FB, and sties like that are diminishing to relationships. As for your immediate question, don't look for love, look for a friend first, then let love develop on its own. I met a wonderful wonderful person (a highly educated person) on plenty of fish .com. Yes it's free, yes there are creeps, but it is possible. I did not have much luck on eharmony or match.com. Let love come into your life, chances are if you're looking for it, it won't be looking for you. Good luck love.

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  • Yeah...once a girl gives in to the chase, we're just like...

    -_-

    "Well, now I got her...now what? Oooh another girl..."

    But if we REALLY love her her, then we won't look elsewhere. We'd still be wondering why this girl loves us back and we'd do whatever to keep her. Usually girls who make us think like this are high value ones who have a respectable job, independence, a vibrant social life (which always keeps us alert/tip-top shape so that other guys don't steal her away!), and beauty.

    So if you're not a girl like this yet, then improve yourself! Get/do well in your education, get a gym membership and workout, and join clubs or a sorority for social life. The guys will automatically throw themselves at you.

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    • Haha, well I am already all of those things. I just have to develop my social life more, which is what I am doing. Thanks for the tips :)

    • Then you sound great!

      :D me too. I'm doing all I can for a girl like you too. I'm working out, almost in a respectable job, student at Ivy League, and healthy life-style...kinda lacking in social life tho...I do have a couple of great friends, but no night life :(

  • This guy doesn't deserve you. Do yourself, and some other lucky guy a favor and forget about this guy.

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    • You are right, his chances are up! He didn't even have the decency to text me to let me know he wasn't able to make it. I mean how hard is it to send a quick text? I'm having a hard time finding guys though that ware willing to meet. I've messaged so many guys, yet no response :S

    • Drop them a message, and let them make the next move. I know, it takes some time but once you find a guy who replies back and follows through with dates, you'll know he is genuinely interested.

  • It seems that they think it's not worth working on anymore since they already "got" you.

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