Am I overreacting? How much longer should I wait?


So I met this really sweet guy about a little over a month now. We have been on a couple dates. on the third date we had sex. It's has been two weeks after and he's still the same sweet guy , a total gentleman and pays for everything. He's available usually anyday except Saturday because he hangs out with friends supposedly

I'm really starting to like this guy but I don't know if he's going to ask me to be his girlfriend. I'm afraid he's just interested in sex while I'm over here developing feelings for him. Should I mention something to him or is too soon? I was thinking giving him a week or two and if nothing I was just going to let him go because I'm not looking for a f***buddy.

Any advise? FYI I'm 22 he's 25

I guess I'm not exactly looking for a tittle. What I want to.know is I should date other people ? I've gotten asked out on two dates buy two other guys and I was attracted to them but I rejected them. I don't want to waste my time with someone who is not going to take me serious while o can give someoneelse an opportity.


Most Helpful Guy

  • I find it cliche to talk about dates or ask her to be my girlfriend so I would never ask ask a girl to be my girlfriend I like things to be spontaneous. If he's with you, show you to his friends, invites you to the restaurant it means he considers you his girlfriend, so you'll be a fool to let him go.

    Also it takes more time for men to develop feelings so don't worry about you falling for him quicker than he falls for you.I once found a text my girlfriend had written about 2 weeks after I met her in which she wrote how much she love me and I started getting that kind of feelings for her only after a few months in the relationship

    • Yea I figured that's like highschoool stuff but I kinda need to know if were both on the same page because there are other guys that want to take me out and I don't really pay attention to them because I like this guy. But I don't wanna waste my time if its not going anywhere you know? Its not so much I want the tittle more like what direction to go.


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What Guys Said 6

  • Why do you need to be in a relationship? Have you completed college? Are you successful in your career? Do you have a career? Do you own a home? Do you have money in the bank? If you answered yes to all of those then proceed to read on. It sounds as if you are developing feelings of lust about now, as you still have the "blinders" on. First things first. evaluate the time yo have spent with this gentleman. Was the time spent simply to lead to sex, or just to get to know one another. 22 and 25 is not that much of an age gap. Remember, title means nothing unless the actions prevail the truth of the words. There is nothing wrong with him having friends. That is a healthy thing. Do not question him unless there is a reason to (someone saw him kissing another woman) (he was somewhere he was not suppose to be, e.g girls house when he said he was having dinner with parents). At this stage he does not owe you anything, nor do you. You have not committed to him, nor has he committed to you. When you do have this conversation, make sure you feelings for him are realistic, honest, and most importantly feelings other than just lust...I would focus on life itself, and if a relationship comes out of this great. Keep yourself busy, don't be that girl blowing his phone up or what people now do these days (cyber stalk)

    • Well to answer some of the questions, I am in college now and I do have a full time job. As for the sex, I'm not sure I think both because we did get have long conversations and got to know each other on our dates but I guess we do have sexual chemistry going on. It is true what you say about there is no commitment yet. So I'm a very outgoing person and I'm always meeting new people and I have gotten asked out on other dates. Do you think its fine to be going out on dates or vise versa?

    • Yes it is OK that you are going out on dates. You are not in a monogamous relationship, therefor you owe him nothing but the truth, which is, if he is not going respect your feelings developing for him that you will move on to someone that will, or just focus on yourself for a bit.

  • Until you find someone who you think fits your needs and desires it's OK to date others. It's obvious that you are looking for love and you should never settle for mediocre. Once you find a guy that you find attractive and want to see more of slow down on dating others and focus on him until you decide if you want to continue seeing him.

  • A wee or two is enough time to wait. I agree that you have to clarify whatt each of you expects.

    Most people aren't comforable having an undefined relationship once you've started having sex. You two aren't teenagers, and youth doesn't last that long.

  • I like the part where you mention he still pays for everything...that's really one of the most important qualities in a man, sounds like this one's a keeper...

    • Yea I think he is. I have paid for our drinks a couple of times so he don't think I'm just trying to much off him

  • be honest with him.. a lot of guys just want friends with benefits now a days. Ask him what he wants out of your relationship.

    • Yea a lot of guys I've met have turned out like that

    • but you can tell the signs if they want friends with benefits or a real relationship...if they want you for you, they actually want to see you outside of the bedroom, and they call/text/see you and don't always talk about sex. I've been fooled by guys only wanting friends with benefits before and they all did the same thing.

  • Be straight up and ask him how he feels about the two of you. Also were he see's this relationship going.


What Girls Said 2

  • Well personally if he asks you to be in a relationship after a week that's pretty fast and he'd be rushing things. Pretty sure he knows you're not looking for a friends with bens, but the thing is you both decided to have sex after the third date...

    if a guy likes you he'll say so, and from experience (stories my friends have told me and what I've gone through myself) asking a guy "where's this going" isn't a great idea.

    You should wait and go with the flow, enjoy his company, and you don't have to sleep with him every time you see him.. eventually he'll ask you.

    • See he has said he like me a lot. we've been seeing each other more more that a month not a week. I guess I just want to know what is the appropriate time frame a guys asks a girl

    • sorry I read what you wrote wrong, I have no idea where I got a week from haha.

      There's no appropriate time, he'll ask when he wants, but you can totally give him a hint. I was going to say (if you had only dated him for a few weeks) that you can make him a bit jealous, my current boyfriend never asked he simply said "I want you to be my gf" after I told him I was going to a party.Playing games is annoying but you could play the jealous card. But since it has been over a month just be upfront with him

  • If you aren't looking for a f*** buddy, why did you f*** him, buddy?

    definitely approach the subject soon, gauge where he stands. You don't have to be official right away, but if you're really starting to fall for him then establish exclusivity and make it clear you want to head in that direction.

    Personally though, I wouldn't sleep with someone unless we're official or it's a one-night thing. (Did it once, big mistake. Never again.)

    • dont get me wrong I do kinda regret that it happend so soon.

    • I understand. As I said, I made that mistake once. That's why I say it's imperative that you make sure you're on the same page early on in the relationship, so you don't end up getting played.