Is this girl I'm talking to using me/not interested

I started talking to this girl and we've gone on two dates so far, and really enjoy each others company. I have a feeling she might be using me, based of two reason, one she never comes down to see me, I usually have to wind up going to her place which is an hour and a half away, and she only sees me when she's in the area which is rare, and two(give or take on this one) she's a little wild/feisty and drinks constantly(on our second date I spent the night and she had 6 coronas( offered me one but I don't drink) and she was texting someone when I was there not even watching the movie which was our date. Am I being used, or is she just not interested? Thanks

Updates:
Also forgot to put that I've already met her family, but when I ask her is she wants to meet mine she either says " I'm not ready to meet them, or I don't wanna make them hate me just yet.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Well it's hard to tell whether she's using you or not at this stage. I would hardly consider two dates anything serious. Have you guys said you are boyfriend/girlfriend yet?

    1.5 hours sounds like a long trip, so personally I understand why she doesn't choose to travel that distance to see a guy she's dated a few times. That doesn't mean she doesn't like you at all, but maybe she's not interested enough at this stage to invest the same kind of effort you are.

    To me, the issue is less how much she likes you, and more about her personality type - wild, erratic, a bit rude with a short attention span. You on the other hand seem sensible, sweet and nurturing. I can see why that's difficult, although I hardly think it means she is using you. I mean, honestly, at your age, what could she possibly be using you for except for the pleasure of your company?

    i think take it at face value. She enjoys your company but is not as serious as you are. You have different values and different ideas of fun. If you can enjoy that then proceed with caution. Just don't fall in love yet because she certainly hasn't.

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What Girls Said 12

  • I'm not sure, but I would say don't pursue her anymore. She sounds very rude and inconsiderate. You never text at dinner and even ordering drinks is something you don't do unless your date is ordering one. Let alone six. If you're dating someone who is a drinker I would be careful. If you're absolutely curious then I would ask her how she feels about the two of you on your next date. However, if this is the way she asks in an entitled manner than she probably won't be worth your time. I've had a couple guy friends fall victim to a girl who overuses the wallet and it gets in dangerous territory. Just tread carefully man and lay down the expectations early if this gets serious so you don't have her burning your money all the time with gas, dates, and drinks.

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  • Sweetie pie, I'm sorry to say this but it does indeed sound like she is both useing you and is really not that interested.

    If she isn't willing to put the same amount of effort into developing this relationship as you are then that should be a big red flag to you.

    Also I feel compelled to add that I find her behavour ,as you described it, to be quite off putting, to say the least. The fact that she is such a enthusiastic drinker while you yourself do not drink shows that there may be a lack of copatability between you two.

    In adittion, I find that her action show a lack of respect towords you. I say this because while you two were on a date she had been spending her time texting. Call me old fashion, but I believe the idea of going on a date means that your primary focus should be your companion, NOT your damn CELL PHONE!

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  • She seems somewhat immature. How old is this girl ? How old are you? Do you know who she is texting while she is with you? Maybe she is texting one of her friends about you and/or the date?

    How long have you known this girl or been talking to her? I see you said you only went on two dates .. so I'm not sure how you can say she 'never comes down to see you' how far apart are these dates and how often do the two of you talk?

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    • She just turn 24 and I'm 23. No I didn't bother to ask cause I didn't want to be nosey/clingy . known her for about one 1/2 years, Been talking to her for about 2 months.

    • wow, I wouldve thought she was a lot younger than that. yeah I would stop talking to this girl. doesn't seem to be worth your time. if you're interested in someone you wouldn't be there on your phone texting someone. find someone better.

  • I agree with the comments above I don't know what you think about the girl but it is a bit strange that you've only gone on two dates and she's drinking in front of you and texting while watching movies, maybe she wants to go slowly and not take things so seriously right from the start. Maybe give it some time and if it doesn't work out move on.

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  • What are her folks like? If they seem they'd raise her in a snobby way, don't trust her. If they're nice people, stay with her but encourage her to see you. If they..uhh are.. you know..the opposite, she has most likely daddy issues and again, don't trust her. Not the best answer, but HEY, good luck :]

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  • She is not serious. texting someone during movie when you have someone with you is very immpolite. This is because she is not interested and if she is continuously doing immpolite kind of behavior then talk to her.

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  • She seems childish and rude don't go further with this chick.Find someone who has an interest in you and NOT other people.I would not feel good if my date was texting other friends when they are there to hang out with me and only me.

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  • She isn't interested or she would get more serious. That's all.

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  • I think she's just rude. Probably not looking for anything to serious.

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  • Hmm... I would say that she is probably just using you. Sorry. If I was really interested in a guy I would not drink that much on a second date. She may just be dating you for the free drinks. And texting during a date? I have always thought that is rude. I might text other people a lot when I'm with my girlfriends but not on a date. I think she is only with you because it is convenient for her. If you hang out in the future, try going somewhere that does not cost any money (like the park or the beach). If you are actively doing something she won't be able to text so easily. If this goes wrong then definitely find someone else.

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  • The drinking six coronas on your second date while watching you stay sober and drink no alcohol could be a serious problem. That's completely disrespectful and tacky, almost alcoholic like. If I knew you didn't drink on our second date I wouldn't consider alcohol, or if I did I would only get one because its courteous to you to stay sober. She's basically getting hammered while you're sitting there staying sober. Rude. If she really wanted to see you she would make the drive down there. For all you know when you were watching the movie she could have been texting another guy. Find a classier girl with more common sense. No wonder she doesn't want your parents to meet her.

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  • show her that your interested and want to make a go of things, simply just ask her straight if she feels the same. if she doesn't then leave her to go do her own thing, and wait for her to next talk to you.

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