Did I react too harshly to what happened between myself and a potential new love interest?

First, I am 52 was widowed almost 3 years ago and I've began dating in earnest. I was introduced to a lady and we seemed to hit it off. We became intiment at about 2 months. Around that time I ruptured my Achilles tendon and had surgery and was having a difficult time moving about. We had a date that she broke citing she didn't feel well ant that my cast was coming off this week, why don't we postpone until next week? I say fine, makes sense, we will wait till next week and I hopefully will be walking better. I have 4 daughters, ages 21, 21, 17, 13. She is 49 and has one son and one daughter, both out of the house. She is divorced.

This particular Saturday night, I'm home alone. I decide around 9pm to get a bite at a local Chile's. I hobble in on my crutches and sit in the lounge area so I can watch basketball on TV. I look up after ordering and what do I see? This woman sitting next to another man in a booth and he has his arm around her. We made eye contact, but I did not react. She gets up and comes over and tells me she can explain and will call me later. My reaction is "fast recovery, I've seen all I need to see, you need to go back to your date". Rude as hell to go talk to another man if you are out with someone. I finish my supper an go on back home when I'm done. I did not take her call that night or any of the 2 dozen over the next week or so plus dozens of text messages. I was done in my mind. Not hurt and feeling sorry for myself. Just done. She was off the list in my mind. When you've buried your spouse of 25 years, you've already dealt with the worst life has to offer, so casting a deceitful bitch aside is nothing. Turns out she is of the mindset of having the man on the way out, the current man, and the one in the hold. This guy was the current man. I apparently was the one in the hold, and God knows what happened to the man on the way out. From that point on, she was a nonentity to me. My fault I did not pick up on this.

I hate dating to begin with. Too many BS games. I despised the game when I was younger and even more so nowadays. Those my age should know better. I have no time for BS games with 2 kids in college an 2 in public school and all the activities my younger ones are in. This woman eventually turned up at my house to try and talk to me and smooth things over. As luck would have it, all 4 of my daughters were home to intervene. I just said, take care of it. I don't care what she has to say. Needless to say, my girls swarmed her like a wolf pack. My girls knew what happened so they didn't have any sympathy for her.

Now, considering romantic opportunities for a man my age are few and far between despite me still being very athletic an energetic for my age. Did I make a mistake not hearing this woman out and possibly giving her a second chance? Personally, I am repulsed that I possibly was intiment at the same time she was with the man at Chile's. Sort of like sharing a toothbrush with a stranger, but worse. Any opinion

The man she was with at Chile's dumped her ass once he found out what was going on. Now she is left with nothing. I say good riddence! Karma is Hell! AND, my daughters are delighting they were able to be in on running this deceitful bitch off! I think I'm much better off. What do the rest of you think?
Thank you ladies! Your answers give me some hope I have a fighting chance at success after all. All I need is a little luck to break out of a slump. Worked that way when I met my wife years ago. Let her cut in line ahead of me selling back textbooks. Together 27 years from that moment.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Good for you. I would have done the same thing. I admire that you are strong enough to stand up to her and not be her doormat. You don't need women like that in your life considering your situation. I cannot believe women at that age still play games. THey life hard for women like me who are honest and have integrity! All you women that play with a man's heart, grow the hell up! I am so sorry this happened to you. You did the right thing. You played it classy and it seems like you weren't hurt because you were logical about it.

    • No reason to be hurt. I'm thick skinned anyway. You have to be pushing 4 girls along the way to adulthood by yourself and trying to date. Ridiculous come up all the time with my kids. When it comes up in a potential relationship, out it goes, and FAST. I can control that. Sends a horrible message to my girls if I let some tart pull that on me. Considering how they responded when she showed up, I've somehow gotten through to them on how you should treat people.


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What Girls Said 3

  • No I think you did the right thing. Another woman will come along. Part of me really admires you for being able to be open to the possibility of finding love again, but if you do you must wait for someone worth while, who respects you.

  • I think you know what you want and she is not it. You were wise for not spending your time on her.

  • Could of heard her out for kicks and giggles and at least the what if's would be out of the way. Besides that everything else was all the right steps on your part. Yet who knows, maybe she didn't see the relationship as serious as you saw it.

    • I sort of regret not hearing her out, but sitting in the next room hearing my daughters swarm her was a treat in itself. Didn't realize they could be that vicious. I'm still pretty new to this game. Coming from a solid marriage, it went without saying being intiment meant being exclusive in my mind. That said, even at my age, I still have much to to learn. It's good to know my kids have my back though.

What Guys Said 1

  • It seems that you really need to hear her out.

    It's really bad when you're jumping into conclusions. I admit I always jumped into them when I was young. It made my life very miserable, and I was always ashamed by those assumptions I took in face value.

    • Point well taken. I was completely unaware this sort of thing was going on. Again, na?vet? on my part. A lot going on outside of seeing her to distract me. To hear her talk, anyone would have thought I was her one and only. But considering the charade she had going, her house of cards was going to collapse on her head sooner or later. I view this as a learning experience, something else to be mindful of should I find myself with someone else.

    • AND keep in mind she broke a date with me for that particular evening 2 hours prior saying she felt bad, then turns up with with a different man that evening. Pretty black and white to me. No conclusion to jump to. Just unfortunate for her I chose Chile's instead of IHOP next door since I felt like having a cold beer. Otherwise, I wouldn't have found out what was up then. Hearing it out would have been interesting though.