Dating a girl with 2 kids

I recently started dating a girl with 2 kids. We’re both in our 20s. She’s been divorced for about a year. Her ex. was verbally and physically abusive. He barely pays child support. She’s been a friend for about 5 years so I know everything she’s been through. I know most guys my age would run away as fast as they can from her. But I'm not most guys. I can’t stop thinking about her. She’s very sweet and loves her children deeply. We have similar personalities, beliefs & interests. My only problem is I’m not sure how I feel about continuing to date a girl with kids. At first I was OK with it, but now I’m having second thoughts. I like kids but I don’t think I’m very good with them.

I believe we have the potential for something long-term if only I could get over my reservations about her children. Should I continue to see her?

Updates:
Thanks for the advice everyone. She came over to my place last night. I realized that I nearly made a huge mistake. She is such an awesome person. My advice to anyone who's in a similar situation: Give it a chance. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Honestly I don't agree with you , They're plenty of men who would date a woman with say 5 kids . This is the day we're living in , Things have changed , It's not like when our parents were growing up . And a lot of men wouldn't date women with kids already , More women are having kids out of school already . Which is sad , For her to have two kids by a marriage . She should be applauded she did it right , Even though things didn't work out for her . You have the right to not want to date women with children , But if you really like her . I say give it a chance , She could be the one . I noticed in life , Things are not planned like we think our life should be .

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What Girls Said 2

  • I too am in my 20s and so is my husband. We got married two years ago after I got out of a heavy long term relationship with a real prick! And it's perfect we're already discussing kids and we live comfortably. If you have the means to provide for yourself and potentially this girl or her children if need be then it's solely based on the commitment you feel you can exert. My husband had nothing of promise when we met and no job he changed that around in two months and we were engaged and he said that it was all me. Not to sound cocky but he never had the want or drive to become more for any girl until we met. So consider how you feel about her and your predicament overall and as far as her having kids goes, it's a part of life and once you become used to them and them with you it'll make you happy that you can experience childhood all over again with them. =] cheers!

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  • I'd would say if she's worth it then she's worth it...nothing going to change that..she's a Mom there's enough love and affection she has to go around..and she's a women..she won't neglect her man..I'm a Mom of two so I kinda knows what she's facing and maybe the thoughts that run threw a mans mind dealing with a women with children..take your time get to knows her better..build your foundation with her first..then everything else will follow.. You'll be fine good luck :-).

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What Guys Said 2

  • IMO give it a shot, give it a try. You maybe feeling a little overwhelmed with responsibility. Raising kids is one of the biggest responsibility, and that is something guys should be aware of, and is a good thing. Yeah its definitely going to require effort, she will be spending time with kids too taking care of them. Not to mention maybe you'll get the hang of it and kids and you will bond.

    The question is are you ready to be a father, or you are feeling overwhelmed by the thought. I would say talk to her about it, let her know how you feel, and how you really feel about her. And give it a go, at least give it few months. If she means that much to you surely then its worth it.

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  • Dude, more often than not, for me, whenever I was dating a girl with kids, the kids were not the problem, it was usually the girl, or something she did, or her trying to push me away, or something. Heck there were many reasons.

    What you need to realize is this. You like this girl. Apparently quite a lot. Sounds like she likes you. You say you like the kids, so hey that's great! So you like the girl, and the kids, and she likes you. Forget about whether you're good with them right now. You'll probably get better. The fact you're in her life, and she's letting you in her kids life is really something. The fact that you're still there, on both yours and her choice says a lot, man.

    Look, I know this is your choice, but I advise you stick with this. It sounds like you got a good thing going here. Don't give up now, just because it isn't easy. You might regret it. I recommend you stick with it.

    Good luck, man.

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    • LOL Give it a chance? Yeah, I know that's good advice. I am one of the people here who gave it to you in the first place.

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