Is his "just be friends" the brush off?

I started working with this guy about 6 months ago. 2 months ago we started talking alot, texting all day, and keeping it a secret when we were working. He made it incredibly clear how attracted he was to me. We talked about our feelings and he mentioned how he had dated a coworker in the past and it ended extremely messy, so he was very hesitant to do it again, even though his feelings for me were genuine. He said he needed time, and I was completely OK with that. About a month later things got weird, he stopped talking to me completely outside of work related things, stopped touching me at work and flirting with me, and just being downright mean. After sending a couple texts with no response, I assumed he was just trying to give me the brush off. But then at work when I would least expect it he would start flirting with me and leading me to believe that he was still in fact into me. Then one night he was incredibly mean to me while we were working together, so I sent him a message confronting it, because I wasn't going to walk on eggshells anymore around him. I basically told him that while I appreciate him trying to "let me down easy" by ignoring me, he was only making it worse, and that I am an adult and I just want to hear it from him. He sent me a message back apologizing for the way he treated me, and saying that he thought it was best that we just stay friends for right now, because neither of us want to put our jobs in jeopardy, and I completely agree with him. I'm just wondering if this means he's not really into me and just being nice, or if he is legitimately scared because of his past experiences? Either way, I'm moving on and dating other people and doing me. But, I'd like to know if there is even a possibility for something to happen at a later date.


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What Guys Said 1

  • There are a lot of factors affecting his feelings for you. It could really be about past relationships, your jobs in jeopardy, and lots of others.

    Though, it's clear that he's really into you.

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What Girls Said 1

  • You could always keep an eye out for the possibility of him liking you down the road, but I usually act like he did when I like someone no more than a friend, want them to get the idea that I won't date them, but still want their attention. It's not the nicest thing to do, but it's something people do naturally to make themselves feel better.

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