Have your parents ever told you not to date/marry a group of people?

By group, I mean ONE(1) person who is a member of that group. You don't have to say which group, that's totally fine. Do you agree with them?

For instance, my mom has told me not to marry a Jewish person, but especially not a Muslim. Even though I'm atheist she'd prefer I marry a Catholic since my whole family(on her side and my dads side) is Catholic

She's also told me not to marry and have kids with a dark skinned black guy because she doesn't want dark skinned grandchildren and my sister marrying a Mexican guy was a stretch.

She also told me not to marry a black guy period because they're useless and no good.

She also said no Indians and preferably no Asians, unless Vietnamese.

Also, no 'beaners' or Mexicans. Other Latinos are fair game, but not a Mexican guy(which I agree with her on not marrying one)

I think the Jew/Muslim thing would be a problem since I could never give up pork(sorry, I'm Hispanic)

You?

Updates:
I am 19, female, biracial (Hispanic) and atheist...I'm not trying to offend


I ask because one of my closest friends signed a contract when she was 7, saying she would never marry or have children with a black guy(she's white) because of the impact it'd have on their kids. I thought it was weird that her parents presented a contract to her like that
Why answer when you have me blocked?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I'm Indian and I've asked my mom before and she'd prefer it wasn't a black girl, Muslim girl or a guy

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What Guys Said 15

  • Luckily for me, my parents were always supportive of my choices in who I chose to date.

    I also don't think that your mother should dictate who you should date and marry as well. As long as the man treats you well, respects you as a woman and you both are happy, then that's all that matters.

    I find it hard to believe that she could condemn an entire race because of her experiences with a few. Not all Black men are bad. I'm also biracial (Black/American Indian) who has never had encounters with the law, educated worked 20 plus years as a professional and respect women as a whole, especially the woman I've been with for the past eight years. Additionally, I have met professional people from all walks of life, to include Mexican as well as other Latinos, Far and Middle Easterners as well.

    Basically, it's not the race that's flawed, its the character of some individuals within a race that is. You also have to be responsible for your own happiness in life and should choose the person who's best able to provide that for you.

    As for your White friend, I hardly believe a contract signed by a seven year old child is legally binding even if it was an ethical contract which to me it clearly lacks ethics. She should be free to choose who she feels treats her well and respects her as well.

    As stated before no one race is perfect and basically what they are saying is it's okay to marry a serial killer who's White as opposed to his attorney who may happen to be a minority of some sort. I am not implying that all White men are serial killers, nor that they're all bad. Just that Whites, like Blacks, Asians, Middle Easterners, Hispanics all have good positive people as well as those who aren't morally sound.

    You should always look at character, morality and compatibility of the individual whom you date and as always, date the individual, not the race.

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  • No, niether of my parents so much as broached the subject. I knew they'd be fine with whomever I chose to marry as long as she was a woman.

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  • My parents really haven't raised me either way... I know that my grandmother for instance would not want me to marry black although she is 100% Italian... Same with my grandfather when he was alive. Old fashion racism sort of thing. I think that my parents would be happy with whomever I was happy with although I'm seriously not going to get married ever.

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  • Never been told not to date a certain race, ethnicity or religion specifically Iam mostly free to decide for myself

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  • No my parents have never done this before. If they did I would completely ignore them and date whoever the hell I want! I find the whole concept to be so bizarre.

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  • No, my parents don't care which girls I choose to date or not to date

    I personally reject all religions, I'm not "hating" on them - I simply dismiss it as nothing but fairy tales which shall hold no influence. I don't care what is your imaginary friend or worse - your family's imaginary friend (but not necessarily yours) - It just doesn't matter to me

    About races.. it's not something what is within my power. I'm attracted the most to white girls and also some Latinas, I'm just not attracted to any other race

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  • Nope, no one in my family has ever said that to me. That conversation was actually raised by my little brother one time... He said he'll probably end up marrying an Asian woman at some point, and there didn't seem to be any objection. My mom asked him why in particular, because he has no idea who he'll even meet or date in the future, but it wasn't a rejection of race or anything.

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  • No, my parents haven't told any of those kind of racist stuffs you mentioned in your description, yet. I won't listen to them, even if they tell me one, henceforth.

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  • when I first went off to school my mother told me to bring home a black girl before I bring home a yankee...

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  • Hahaha! This sh*t is hilarious :D

    Nope. My grandmother would prefer I marry a Mexican Christian like her, but doesn't really care who I fall in love with.

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  • Nope, never had any restrictions or talks. But then again, I always hid my dating life from them.

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  • My parents have never done it. That contract is ridiculous though. The girl was 7 for goodness sake

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    • Ironically, she only likes black guys now...I don't know 'racist' they truly are because she brought home this really nerdy black guy(he's such a good guy) and they loved him. So, maybe they've become more lenient

    • Sad that there are people out there who dislike me before we've even met, lol..

  • Just once. Honestly, I don't see why they should any say in who I'd wish to date.

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  • My Mum: NO AMERICANS! lol. She is a old Briton!

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  • Way to generalize eh.

    But no, my family has never said such thing.

    I find it weird though, that your mom doesn't like blacks but she was with one for a while, lol.

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What Girls Said 12

  • No, aren't you half black though?

    I'm biracial (African American and Caucasian) my mom never told me she wanted me to date or not date certain people because she was an open person beyond the bedroom.

    And if she was some bigot I wouldn't listen to that crap.

    Why no Mexican men though?

    I'm down for any swirl out there. :P

    I think that people that would make their daughter sign a contract are complete idiots. And I actually find it really funny (in a sarcastic way) how 'normal' productive people can be so blind and stupid.

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    • I think that's a cultural thing to an extent.

      I was watching a documentary on women in this central or south American country and they only wanted to marry a white guy because the guys in their country didn't value women. It was incredibly sad to hear that from these women. But there are always exceptions and stereotypes come from people who don't know the whole story or who generalize. Why is your mom against black guys?

    • Show All
    • Do you believe her?

      My mom is an open person, so I don't know what if would be like to go against her on such a deep rooted thing. Do you think your mom would do anything if you dated a Muslim, Jewish, Black, or Mexican man?

    • I believed her in high school, but that didn't stop me from liking black guys. The black guys at my college are good guys. Most of them come from wealthy backgrounds with the stereotypical Connecticut like family

      Muslim? As long as he isn't practicing. I don't believe in God, so that would just conflict with their lifestyles. I do find Arab-American men attractive.

      Jew? Again, dietary issues.

      Mexican? She'd be disappointed

      Black? Disappointed, but happy he isn't Mexican

  • Luckily my parents are very open minded. I'm white, but my aunt and all her kids are mixed, and my favorite uncle happens to be Hispanic. The only piece of advice (not a rule, just a suggestion) my mom ever gave me was to not date anyone with a criminal record or an addictive personality. But maybe that's not the same as what you're asking. :)

    However, they probably want me to date a Christian, even if they haven't told me. Doesn't matter because I'd rather date only Christians myself lol.

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  • No, my parents are very nice, accepting people. All that they have said is to make sure to marry the right person; pay attention to his morals, views, and anything else that might have a negative impact on marriage later on.

    They are hoping he will Catholic, though-- which I see their point on, since we would have similar ideals, most likely. And if he happens to not be of the same religion, the very least I want is for him to be open and comfortable with it (and if we have children someday, I would like him to be at ease with them being raised Catholic).

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  • Not marry,but my Dad once told me when I was a child not to date black men(not going to say what he said exactly,don't want to offend anyone here). I'm white,so..

    I think that's pretty much it.

    My Dad has since deceased but I'll try and respect his wishes.

    sleepy here..it's all I can come up with at the moment.

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  • Nope, they don't really understand why I don't have in interest in my kind, but they're not bothered. They just tell me if a guy doesn't hold a door for me or if he looks like lil'Wayne don't do it. That's all they ask. :o

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  • Black, I was warned if you go black don't even come back. It as only black, and other race or religion was ok.

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  • i'm jewish and they only want me with a jewish guy, if I dated someone not jewish I would have to hide it from them

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  • They told me not to date criminals and not to date racists.

    That's all I remember them mentioning.

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  • Yes, my parents and uncles don't want any of us to mix with blacks and Central Americans.

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  • Only my father, he told me not to marry a white guy. My mother has no problem with it.

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  • No whites/Caucasians, my family is old school southern black people who don't like, as they put it, "crackers"

    No Haitians, according to them they are nasty and unhygienic

    No Mexicans (all Latinos fall under this category to them) because they beat their women and are perverts

    No one who isn't Christian

    No one who makes less than about 45-50k/year salary (middle class where I live)

    No very dark skinned guys with "nappy” hair because they want our kids to look a certain way.

    And if that didn't cover it all, pretty much anyone who isn't an educated African American lighter than a Hershey chocolate bar will be given the side eye. They aren't really racist, more prejudiced and set it in their ways. Someone who can fit in the family is a good look

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  • My mom has jokingly said, "I beg of you, don't date any more Christians" because of some interesting experiences I've had, but that's all I can recall.

    That "contract" you mentioned is absolutely nuts, holy sh*t.

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