Am I wrong for waiting for her to intiiate contact this time?

It took me three attempts to get a girl to hang out. She had legit excuses the first couple times and offered alternative times. Even then I had to initiate the third time.

We hung out for a little while and had fun and she texted me afterward and said it was fun.

It's been two weeks and I haven't heard from her since. I don't want to contact her because I feel like I've been putting too much effort in relation to her interest level. I've been burned several times in the past for that exact reason, where I'm trying more than the woman.

Is it better to just forget about her and if she ever texts, then great, we can make plans, but if she doesn't, just forget it?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Two weeks and NOTHING from her? If I was really into a guy, I'd at least text him in 24-48 hours. You can't get enough of someone you first meet and like.

    Kudos for making the first move and really attempting it with her. The ball is in her court. Give it a few more days. If she doesn't say something soon (assuming she texts a lot and doesn't have a lot of work/school time), and doesn't have a legitimate excuse, move on.

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    • Yeah, nothing. It's weird because, like I said, she texted me within an hour after hanging out thanking me and saying it was fun.

      And this after I made the effort in the beginning. Is it so wrong to want to feel like she's a little into it, too?

    • You're not wrong at all. I hope she does contact you soon. If she doesn't, then you found a dating dud. :/

What Girls Said 4

  • I would follow up with a text that said I had fun, would you like to go to ___?

    If you really like her, you should try. Trust me, I am like her and it almost impossible to convince me to meet with someone because of my schedule. But I had a great time, I would really hope a guy step up the next date or time.

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  • If you care about her, I say contact her one more time.

    If no answer, then move on to another girl

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    • any idea why she'd text me afterward if she had no plans to see me again?

    • How do you know she has no plans to see you ?

    • because I haven't heard from her since and it's been a while.

  • I think it's weird that you BOTH haven't contacted each other in two weeks, haha!

    I say just text her again... and at some point, say something like, "It's okay to text me sometimes too, I'd like that." Some girls are taught to never contact the guy first, she may be one of them.

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    • nah, I've seen her text freely before, she doesn't go by any rules.

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    • I feel like I have a better case than her, though, to wait. She should be thinking "this guy asked me three times and put in the effort for the first hangout, maybe he's waiting for me to ask for the second one". That makes more sense than me asking twice in a row, especially if it's not clear if she's even interested or not.

    • It sounds like you've made up your mind anyway.

  • Yes, I think that at this point you have put in enough effort.

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What Guys Said 4

  • I say just forget it. Don't waste time on girls who don't have any initiative. This "Guy has to initiate contact" stuff is for girls who don't want to put any effort in. She needs to be interested in you like you are in her. This is how she'll be in a relationship. Do you really want that?

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    • yeah, I mean, I understand in the beginning if the guy has to put effort in. And I did put effort. I had to ask three times. Even though she was legit busy, I still put in the effort. And now that we've hung out once, it'd be nice for her to put effort in for the next hang out.

  • Simply contact her again.

    You never know, she must be that really busy.

    Though if you don't like the idea of waiting for a girl, then simply forget her and move on.

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  • If it's been two weeks you can still try her once more. If she's not replying for sh*t. Do what I would do. Go to her in person no matter the cause and ask her straight up "Help me understand you, for me to know if I'm being a bother." That is if you really give a f***, if not then you're cool like that

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    • she'll reply, I know she will. But it's more a matter of, if she's not really that interested (as is being indicated by her actions), then I'm putting in effort disproportional to it.

  • One more time, and then that's it.

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    • any idea why she'd text me soon after hanging out if she had no plans to see me again?

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    • because I haven't heard from her since and it's been a while.

    • How do you know she's not just waiting for you to text her first? You forget, women are traditional when it comes to that kind of sh*t.

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