Should I or should I not introduce my boyfriend to my parents?

I know its long but please help me! I need some major advice:

I've been dating this amazing guy for the past few weeks "officially", but we've known each other for almost 4 months and all that time, we were practically dating, but we didn't label it.

I met his folks fairly early on because I always go over to his house. They are great, loving people and they like me a lot too. His entire family knows him and I are together and are very supportive of us. His dad is always telling him to "treat me right" and "respect me" and giving him fun date ideas and what not, ha ha :)

Recently, my guy has been bugging me about meeting my parents too. I really want to introduce him to them, but all this time, I've been keeping him a secret because my parents are SUPER strict Indians (great right? He's white). It's not like they expect me to marry an Indian guy, have an arranged marriage or whatever, but I feel like they want me too. I was born in America and I've told them a number times my dislike for arranged marriages. Also, don't call me racist, I do not find Indian men attractive at all and I've said this to them too.

My folks are not bad, rude people. In fact, all my friends who've met them say they are super kind and respectful. Especially my dad. I think his family and my family would get along great together.

One time, he drove me home after one of our dates and my dad saw him through our house. When I got in, my dad was angry and demanded "who is that boy?!" and I lied and said it was a friend's brother. My dad's response was an angry "finish your education."

I am 21 years old, and if I didn't still depend on my parents, I would tell them and be done with it. But I do depend on them because I can't work enough to support myself and get an education (full time student). Also, I'm afraid that if I tell them about my boyfriend, they'll never let me go out again and see him (currently, I've been lying and saying I'm hanging out with a couple of friends).

I fear the risk is too great to tell them but my boyfriend is starting to think that I'm embarrassed by him, which is not true at all! I love him so much. I love going out and showing him off lol. However, I can see that he really wants to meet them and by me saying no, he's starting to think it's something to do with him.

Should I take the risk and try to tell them (HUGE, and I mean HUGE, possibility that they'll lock me in the house and never let me go out again) or keep him a secret until I can afford to live on my own? That's going to be about 2 years from now.


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What Guys Said 2

  • I sympathize with you. I'm Chinese, and my parents want me to marry an Asian girl. I won't date until I finish college though. Your parents are just worried about you, is all. They don't want you to end up getting pregnant or in too much love (otherwise you can't concentrate on your studies) or anything before you finish your education. This is a tricky subject. But don't feel that you have to move out because your parents are like that. They care about you, and if you just leave them like that it might really hurt them.

    Tell your boyfriend the truth. Tell him that you're worried that you parents won't agree with him. Tell him your fears and doubts, and if he is a good boyfriend and really cares about you, he'll understand. It is better to give an explanation to your boyfriend rather than just try to get around the problem. Otherwise he'll be confused. Maybe in two years time you can introduce him to your parents.

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  • As a Indian I can totally understand your problem

    Well tell your bf to meet your parents in hotel or anywhere else
    And make it look like an accident
    Tell your parents that he is just a friend
    Let your bf impress your parents
    Once they like him you can tell your parents that u both r dating
    And they probably will have no problem with it

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