My friend has fallen into a depression because she and her boyfriend broke up a while ago. He cheated on her. Yes, it does suck that it happened but they've only been dating for four months. There is no possible way that she was in love, and that she just knew he was the one. Obviously he wasn't if he cheated. I just can never understand why people who have dated less than a year can get that depressed over a break up, especially after four months. You can get be depressed for a little, but then move on and get over it.
I was with my boyfriend for almost ten years. We started dating shortly after my 19th birthday. We broke up because he cheated, that was over six months ago and I am getting back into dating. I think I have more right to be depressed for a long time than someone who only dated for four months. Our break ups happened around the same time and she is STILL depressed. Sure I get sad sometimes, but I know there are other men out there. I keep comparing our relationships and telling her I've moved on after a ten year one, but she won't listen.
So I used another example. HER AUNT AND UNCLE TO BE EXACT! They met in High School, and they were married and had a family together. They have a grandkid now and another on the way. They divorced a year ago after a 35 year marriage. That's right. 35 years compared to 4 months. And they are seeing other people now.
I just can't get her to see it that way, and I think it's his fault too. He keeps coming back and saying that they were drunk (sorry not an excuse) and that the girl had spiked his drink (sorry but no) and that he thought it was my friend. So he is putting false stories in her head. He's nothing but an a**hole.
But come on. FOUR MONTHS. YOU CAN'T FALL IN LOVE AFTER FOUR MONTHS! You also can't be in love with someone before you even dated them. Her words, not mine. "Oh I was in love with him for a year before we dated, and I still am."
Nope. You weren't. Sorry. You don't fall in love with someone (it's called a infatuation) before you date, and I don't even think you can call it 'love' until after you've moved past the 'honeymoon' phase.
I need help with this because her mother is started to get worried about her. She doesn't eat or sleep. How can I force her to move on? It was ONLY four months.
Most Helpful Girl
Everyone is different. Even though being with someone for 10 years produces a different KIND of love, that does not mean that she didn't love this man in her own way. Just be her friend and support her. It's not your job to tell someone what to feel or how to feel it, and you can't. Take her out and show her a good time once in a while, involve her with the gang and make her feel included. When she starts complaining and feeling sorry for herself, give her a little time to vent before you change the subject. But you can't convince someone to get out of a depression. It doesn't really matter what you beleive, she won't see things from your pov. Tell her that you are concerned about her and want her to be happy, but invalidating her feelings won't help her move on. If she continues to be this way for another month or two, politely suggest that she talk to a counsilor about it. But if you say the same things to her that you said above, I can see why she would be depressed. She needs a friend who loves and supports her, not a friend who tells her that what she beleives is stupid and untrue. You don't have to agree with her. She's hurting, and that should be enough. Just love her and encourage her to get out there and live her life, and she will move on. Good luck!
- Show AllShow Less