Guys... Is he flirting with me or just being friendly?

I know there are probably a million versions of this question out there, but I feel like my situation is a bit different, and thought I'd ask anyway. Sorry in advance for the novel...

Last summer a guy I've "known of" but did not know very well started talking quite a bit; I'd now consider us to be pretty good friends. At first, we texted and IM'd a lot, occasionally an actual phone call -- a day without a message was odd. Of course, as weeks passed the frequency of the messages decreased. We don't see each other that often; both of us work, etc. I've gone to a couple of his hobby functions at his suggestion, and we've hung out a bit there, but I haven't seen him since the season ended last fall. He really seemed excited that I came, and was really happy to "show off" what he does on the weekends.

We still text and IM, about 50/50 as to who initiates the conversation. It isn't unheard of to go weeks without hearing from him, but he almost always replies instantly and (apparently) enthusiastically if I text or message him, usually with a "hey, Trouble, where you been?" or "what's up with you?" Sometimes he'll message me out of the blue with some rant about his family or his ex girlfriend (long ex... Now with another guy and has a kid. As long as I've known my friend he's been single). Sometimes he texts very early in the morning (5:30 am-ish), or before noon with a "good morning." This is pretty rare, though.

Like I said, we don't see much of each other, but we've bumped into each other in the grocery store before, and he's run up behind me to grab me by the shoulders and surprise me, that sort of thing.

Recently, we texted, and he quickly suggested that we meet up sometime soon and maybe have a drink or something. I agreed, but we haven't made concrete plans.

Should I read anything at all into this? I do like him, and would be open to more than friendship if he was, but I'm not the best at reading signals (except in hindsight) and I'd be mortified if I jumped the gun and had it wrong. My friends (college buddies who have never met him) and sister (who knew him better than I did before last summer) think he likes me. Logically, I'd agree, but the fact that he'll sometimes go weeks without initiating a conversation confuses me on that point. He's a very outgoing guy naturally, and I'm just not sure if he's just being his normal friendly self, or if he's interested in me.

Kudos if you slogged through all of that... I'm a fan of giving as much info as possible. Thank you!


Most Helpful Guy

  • I've read all of it.

    Yes, I think he's interested in you! Go for it. He asked you out for a drink. That may perhaps be the best hint, in my honest opinion.

    I've had girls not initiate conversation with me for longer periods and they still liked me. He instantly replies to you if you text him, yes? It could be that he doesn't want to appear clingy all over you or perhaps he also does not want to be rejected and wants to make sure that you like him before he makes any moves on you.

    Keep in mind that he may also be busy some weeks and doesn't feel like doing any guessing games about wether you like him or not.

    Sorry, my speculation. Anymore information? I will gladly help.

    • Report

      Thanks for reading! I definitely understand not wanting to appear clingy and the rest... I'm guilty of that exact thing with him in this case. I know he's a busy guy, too, and I truly do not expect him to make time to text me all the time. Last time we texted he actually said "you will have to hit me on Facebook" as he doesn't have good cell service at home (he's moved house recently). I know that could be a good sign, but I also I know what it's like to dodge unwanted chatters on fb... :/

    • Report

      I personally think that people who don't want attention on Facebook from a certain individual, should remove them. I do know that some people keep those they don't even like, on their friends list.