Was my apology creepily overtoned?

Me and this girl (who I haven't met, more penpals) got to know each other on text/phone and playfully flirted/talked.

However, I overreacted and removed her off Facebook/twitter. We had a text conversation about why and she called me "mature" in a sarcastic way, but I regretted that decision and I said I got the "wrong end of the stick and I was a fool", her reply was "Understatement".

So I sent this apology "I'm sorry if I hurt you by removing you like that, it was immature of me and was a mistake, I was inconsiderate. Been an idiot with you lately by overreacting and I realize that's still a big understatement... would like a chance to make things right again 'cos not knowing you isn't the option I want.. Hope you can forgive me, if not I understand.

It's been a week since I sent that and no reply, so wondered if it was a creepy/overtoned apology.

Later that night that I sent the apology, I sent her a friend request but she de-activated both her twitter/Facebook accounts, then re-activated them the day after (no idea why)

On Thursday, she wrote a tweet about getting 80% on an assignment and wanting to celebrate, so I replied "said you was clever!" and she favourited it (at least she didn't ignore me. wondering if she ever got my text now)

But I noticed later on after her favouriting my tweet, she set her Twitter to the privacy setting of "protect my tweets", which despite convenient timing of my reply, I was already following her anyway so not sure why she did that.

Thinking of leaving it a week and a half before sending a Facebook message like this "How’s grumpy been lately? Staying angry with me, or reckon you can raise me a smile? (Looks like this by the way --> :-) ). Don’t want to argue or fall out over something stupid, I shouldn’t have deleted you, I admit that.. but would like us to keep talking as we used to get along. What do you think?"

I do want to keep her as a friend, we've spoken for a few years and it was a silly mistake.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • no I don't think your apology is creepily overtoned.i think you did the right thing by apologizing in the first place. you know in your heart that you did a mistake so it's just right that you said sorry (: I think the girl is just hurt because you removed her off Facebook. she got hurt. and you must understand that. if you got removed by a friend too then you would probably feel the same. regarding the "tweets..again..hurt..hurt.hurt.. that's just it (: well, maybe..give a her a little space..maybe 3 days..well, if I was her I'd probably wanna be left alone for a while..maybe it's just me..haha but..maybe give it 3 days. then message her..then say what's in your hearts..like if you still wanna be friends with her..tell her that "if you don't wanna be friends with me anymore then I just hope you accpt my aplogy and thank you for the friendship." that's it.. (:

    if after that she doesn't wanna be friends anymore ..then respect her decision.there are other people close to you who loves you and accepts you for who you are. good luck with everything (:

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    • Thanks! Yeah, just favoriting my tweet was odd as I thought she'd ignore me completely.. which makes me wonder if I should go about contacting her as if nothing has happened, or send her a Facebook message adding the bit about if she doesn't want to be friends anymore, I hope she can at least accept my apology?

      There's been periods of months where we lost, but regained contact. Maybe best sending that FB message, then months down the line I'll communicate friendly, letting things blow over

    • She replied a few hours later that day saying "me grumpy? I think it's you that went on the deleting spree. don't call me grumpy because you're aware it was you in the wrong now. but here's the smile you're after :) x". I replied the day after (lots of uni work on my mind + didn't want to look like I was waiting on her). I replied "Decent smile that! And yeah I was, but I'm considering going on an adding spree for a change this time, looking for suggestions on who to add though.. any ideas? x"

What Girls Said 1

  • and also I think you two should meet (: if possible. because investing emotional feelings with someone who you've never met before can also hurt you. and would it be worth it? that's a question I cannot answer. it would be really nice to love someone who can be with you physically..i wish you happiness and all the love God intends your way (: have a nice day.

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    • Aha, ashamed to say my overreaction was from "not being sure I had the time to know what she wants". She was a bit unsure about talking to someone she hasn't met (which is odd as we've been speaking on and off for three years as penpals) and meeting due to her overprotective best friend saying "i might kidnap" her. Whether they're excuses, I don't know.

      The fact is I overreacted and removed her and she took offence to it unfortunately.

    • Show All
    • to be honest? there's too much "playing"/flirting going on between both of you. it's your life though. I've already said my piece. obviously, you want to continue whatever it is that you 2 have. so good luck and just..whatever happens..whatever..WHATEVER..it is..if you get hurt during or after all of this, just know that it is your decision whether to stay or not. and you always...ALWAYS have a choice...i really don't like seeing people get hurt..

    • I do keep my options open, because I am single. If I was committed to her then I'd be getting frustrated, but I would like to see how this goes, but as I mentioned I'm keeping options open especially as I meet new people a lot anyway. I assumed she was using all this as an excuse to blow me off, turned out I was wrong. I'll give it a bit of time before I suggest meeting up, if it's the same thing again then I'll accept it and let it fade out.

What Guys Said 2

  • The apology was a little too dramatic, but nothing completely radical.

    By closing you out, she is either uninterested in your company or she wants to get some sort of weird revenge on you. Either way, unacceptable.

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    • She replied a few hours later that day saying "me grumpy? I think it's you that went on the deleting spree. don't call me grumpy because you're aware it was you in the wrong now. but here's the smile you're after :) x". I replied the day after (lots of uni work on my mind + didn't want to look like I was waiting on her). I replied "Decent smile that! And yeah I was, but I'm considering going on an adding spree for a change this time, looking for suggestions on who to add though.. any ideas? x"

  • It seems that she's starting to forgive you.

    Your apology was more than fine, and it's sincere.

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