If your ex began dating somebody who's no good, would you intervene?

If your ex began dating somebody you and everybody else knows to be less than wholesome ( as in abusive, a serial cheater etc), even if you ended on really bad terms, would you feel the need to let your ex know he/she needs to be careful. If so, how would you go about warning them?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Sadly, I wouldn't. She made that mistake herself. Of course on the inside I would feel really sorry for her, but if I showed it, it would only encourage her to stay with him. If I say nothing, then her leaving him is her decision and nobody influenced it. If I were to say something, it would seem that I was 'controlling' her lifestyle decisions and she'd brave the odds just to prove me wrong. Unless she was more on the forgiving side, then I'd tell she was dating a jerk. But because my last unfinished story stopped seeing me because her ex (who couldn't spell or treat her right) appealed to her more I would not intervene or stop her from dating such a person.

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What Guys Said 9

  • I would probably advice about it, as "meh" as possible, because you have to understand that even if you do it with the best intention, anything you say will sound cat-y but yes, even if we eneded up in bad terms I still will wish her the best, so yes, if she was going fast to a sure crash, I would voice my concern, ONCE, kindly but absolutely with no passion whatsoever, si she knows I'm concern, but not "GIRL! WARNING!" because again, she will have a hard time questioning how legitimate my motives to "warn" her are, I would keep it "cold" in order to let her know how serious it is, how I'm thinking with the brain and not reacting out of feelings (good or bad ones)

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  • it would honestly depend on the girl. Some ex's I could honestly care less about. They can learn dating relationship lessons themselves without me.

    If I were to give an ex a "heads up" about their boyfriend, I believe she would think that I'm just trying to "block" her from dating other guys because I'm jealous or something.

    I simply wouldn't warn them, unless they asked me for my oppinion.

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  • I'd probably if she learned anything at all from her mom's dating history. But since I have a new girl, I try not to worry about the old one. Besides, the last time I saw her, she was with some guy who seemed pretty decent.

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  • If I had an ex that did that, then yes, we would try to intervene. It is much healthier that way. We would have to do it in an eye-opening way, so as not to make her think that I was jealous or controlling. Even if I am called that, I would still try my best to help her, because I would be willing to be criticized, as long as I knew I was only trying to help.

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  • Sure, maybe I'd send her a quick message explaining that I didn't want to start talking again or anything, I just wanted to warn her that the guy she's into has been known to be abusive and she should probably keep her distance from someone like that. If the guy's just a cheater or something, she can figure that out herself, and for all I know the guy's somehow changed completely and doesn't cheat anymore. But she can deal with heartbreak herself. If the guy's actually going to be abusive (even if just emotionally), I'll warn her.

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  • Nope. Exes are exces for a reason. Let them make their own bad decisions. Any intervening on your part would make you look, like you're a jealous spurned lover.

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  • wait youre a girl asking this? doesnt that mean that your possible ex would begin dating an abusive girl? do abusive girls really exist? ugh too complex for u. okai then heres my answer: i would at the beginning, cuz i did care for that person once, but after that its his/her decision who they wanna date. dont be jelly!!!

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  • nope. she's dead to me

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  • No, I'd be a little delighted.

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What Girls Said 3

  • No, because the exes I ended with on bad terms know nothing about my life and vice versa. I don't wish anything bad on them, but I wish for us to stay out of each others' business forever and ever.

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  • No, it's no longer your business what your ex does. If you "intervene" it will its make you look nosey. Like you still have feelings for him because you're prying into his business

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  • No, it is nomb

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