When should I stop dating a guy who is dating multiple girls?

We are all just playing the field but the truth is I am tired of going on awkward dates and would like to starting having a serious relationship. I am dating a guy who seems really great but he is still really into dating/talking to a lot of girls. I guess for me, it makes me feel kind of like another typical date. We are going on our second date but I would like to know when I should start asking the exclusive question.

Also I would like to know if he doesn't kiss me on the first date, what should I do about second date?

(I am serious first dater but I guess this is the first guy that I actually like to have conversation and discussion with. I also am interested physically).


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Most Helpful Girl

  • let's keep his looks and personality at the side for the moment.

    you want a serious relationship which I consider as really cool since the 'trend' nowadays is to go on as many dates as possible. now the next thing to do is to pinpoint all the things you want in a guy (high standards are never bad...just be realistic, everyone is going to have a flaw or 2).

    so now that you know exactly what you want in a guy and the kind of relationship you'd like to have let's get back to this guy. does he reach those standards? you said that he seems to want to date around a little and get to know other girls and that doesn't make him a bad person. he's doing what he feels is right for him at the moment. but then you have to do the same for yourself.

    if you want a serious relationship more than anything you owe it to yourself to know if the guy is serious about you. if he isn't do you really want to put yourself through a very likely break-up. no matter how long it takes, a break up is likely to happen IF he isn't serious and it will hurt.

    so it's your choice.

    how I see it any guy who likes you and cares about you enough to be worth your time, WILL try to climb those standards of yours no matter how high they are. you just need to go about this with a solid character. keep your standards no matter how hot a guy you've met is or how nice he is... whenever you lower your standards for any guy he will take advantage of that. even if it's unintentional. by just lowering your standards your letting almost any guy in and the possibility of being hurt or ending up regretting it is huge! it's the good, worthy guys that will climb your standards if they really want you and those are the kind of guys you want to have in your life.

    if he isn't serious, in my opinion the sooner you move on the closer you are to finding the right guy.

    basically, the most important thing right now is to know what your standards are (lowering them for NOBODY) and to get to know asap if the guy is serious. thenn if he meets your standards go on a second date acting normal. you'll know when the right moment comes I can assure you.

    goodluck and I wish you the best :)

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    • She's right you know. If you're looking for something serious you should stop dating Players (HOT GUYS) and going for smart dudes instead. They don't provide such an emotional roller coaster trill, but they do better on the LTR department. Me for example I plan on making my future wife a pre-nuptial document stating that if she's unfaithful before the wedding day. She has to return "the ring" and all other Nuptial gifts and I plan also to make a DNA TEST on all my kids.

    • Show All
    • Just in case you don't find your answer in time and you end up heart broken for some reason. Don't do the mistake of listening to ADELE - Someone like you.

      Go for this song first link

      Then this one. My personal PIMP slap in your face for letting yourself be played. You won't die from it, but you won't stay the same either.

      link

    • Thanks but I have confident that I can play the game. Life is about learning from your mistakes as well as actions. They say people biggest regret have mostly been inaction/fear.

What Guys Said 10

  • Irony of life lol, Nice guys do finish last. Well just to answer your question. You should bring it up after the 5th or later. Also just take it slow, girl, stop day dreaming your life with that guy you haven't even reached the first base and your already thinking your at HOME. Blame your inexperience for that. Guys with options are the worst for Long term relationships (LTR), exception being if you are a 8+/10 on the look scale and F...K like a p*rn star. The quickest way to lose a player guy is to suck in bed.

    Your lady part has magical powers over guys if you know how to use it.

    Getting LTR with a bad boy without sexual experience is like making out with "Olivia Wilde" when your broke and homeless.

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  • Unfortunately, asking the exclusive question won't do too much good on the 2nd date. That'll be rushing it too fast. Maybe by the 3rd or 4th date, you could ask where it's going, but expect him to give you a sly, passive remark about it.

    Afterall, he's a player and he's got options. And he'll take his time deciding which girl he wants.

    If you want a serious relationship asap, find a NICE GUY who's only option is you. And no one else. However, you won't be attracted to this kind of guy as fast/much as you are with a player.

    Those players are so appealing. And those nice guys ... well, that'll take months and it won't be so climatic and surprising.

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    • btw, would a guy lied that he was a shy and focus on school type on the first date? No one ever told me this about themselves on a date. I don't think he is player per say because he is introverted, smart, Christian, and showed up on time several times before we started dating. But then again, I think maybe this is a new type of player...still no idea.

      I am not looking to just into a relationship with someone asap. I am looking for someone that I am compatible with. Any advice?

    • Are you retarded?

    • I am inexperience

  • Yep, dating, traditionally, is a meat market, online or not, and it's uncomfortable for the female who is still mostly the one for sale. This is why I stopped traditional dating in my teens and never looked back. It's not all that comfortable for guys either, unless you really like meat markets..

    .And of course, the only guys who 'do well' at it are the highest bidders.

    So don't date such guys, ever! There are plenty of guys our there that aren't playing these games!

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  • After two dates, it's a little soon to be talking about being exclusive. If you don't like dating a guy who is 'playing the field' - then you need to move on to another guy. I would say you have to be seeing each other seriously for at least 2-3 months before you can have 'the talk'

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  • You shouldn't even begin to date someone like that anyway - as then you're always going to be just an option

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  • If he is flirty and open, you can't expect him to all of a sudden want to be with you only. That's not how it works in a guys world and you might scare him like that. Instead, I think you should focus on your time together and let things go with the flow. Why do you want to be exclusive so fast anyways? These things are better done slowly and not rushed

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  • You should find someone that is also interested in settling down. Now would be a great time to find someone else to date. It will save you a lot of heartache in the near future.

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  • You are totally confused.

    Maybe you should give dating a break and chill the f*** out.

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  • Simply kiss him on your second date.

    Compliment him a lot, and convey your feelings to him.

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  • Well, if you haven't even kissed him yet, it's a little premature to be talking exclusivity. After all, some of the other girls he's dating have probably advanced further than that. In fact, it may be tough to claim exclusivity until you're having sex. Depends on the guy though. You'll know better than us.

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What Girls Said 7

  • I think from reading this, you are lusting for him. You said you are interested physically which almost immediately means you are attracted physically and with physical intimacy comes relationship. However, it is WAY too soon to do any of these things. Try dating him and see if you even like him to begin with! Move past the physical attraction and more into the spiritual connection. If you know he dates other women, then why make yourself an option?! If he has to find lady two after you, then chances are he never liked you otherwise there would be no lady two!

    I think you need to slow down and enjoy the dates. Enjoy hanging out, talking, being physically with him. However, don't bring up nor have physical intimacy, don't kiss or really anything. You can still show interest without going to bed with the guy! Touch his shoulders, tell him he looks handsome, even tell him how interesting and fun he is! Just enjoy him as a friend and don't let yourself like him above a 7 out of 10. Remain interested but have fun and don't expect anything nor rush anything. If he wants to take you two to the next level like a relationship, then go for it! However, if you are already guessing his intentions, then maybe you should move on.

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    • I can't guess his action, he is pretty stoic. He hasn't been disrespectful for the last three times I saw him but I will keep game face on.

  • If you address being exclusive and you haven't even kissed yet,you're almost sure to NOT get another date.You're moving wayyyyy to fast.You're imagining a future with someone you don't even know well.

    Also,you want him to kiss you on the first date?Sorry but,a lot of guys who want to get that physical that fast,just want to get in your pants...and then you will never see them again.Guys that are truly interested,won't mind moving at a slower pace because they are in it for the long run.

    I think you're allowing your imagination to get carried away,and you're being unrealistic concerning someone you don't know.No where in your post did you mention how he feels about you...because you are creating all of this yourself.

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    • We actually play sport together before he asked me out. He tried to convince me for more than 3 days why I should give him a chance. He told me that he is interested and likes being around me. I already cancel the second twice and he still want to accommodate my schedule. I guess we grew up in the same town and he went to a high school that next to my neighborhood, it feels like we have a lot in common but then again I am truly confuse because my major was male dominated so I thought I can read guys.

    • Your"major" has nothing to do with this. Its not difficult to read men.In fact,I believe men are more forward and less complex than women.That's why,if he is not leading with wanting exclusivity from you,you shouldn't say jack about being exclusive with him unless you are looking to be embarrased.

  • The exclusive question doesn't happen until the 4th or 5th date imo, which means at least a month into dating. And from what I hear, you need to let the guy bring it up.

    If you don't like him dating other girls, I think you should tell him. Or, just go find a guy who only dates one girl at a time.

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  • Don't ask to be exclusive, just communicate your standards. For example, you could say that you are looking for a guy that will focus on you and only you and that you would appreciate it if he let you know whether he was planning on that. If he says no, you need to walk away. If he says he never thought about it, tell him that that's ok, and then give him time to think about it. Simple

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  • you sound so immature and inexperience...good luck to you.

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  • it's pretty soon to become exclusive. go on a few dates but he should mention it first and just remember if he's seeing lots of girls I doubt he is going to want to become exclusive too fast.

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  • It's too soon to demand/request exclusivity. You have to let things progress naturally.

    However, if he's kissing or sleeping with a different woman every night, I wouldn't date him at all.

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