Need help desperately! I got rejected?

SO I just got rejected I think by this guy who said he liked me.

We have been going out on dates, flirting and dancing, but never kissed yet. So I talked to him and said "I don't know if we are friends or dating, because I really like you but what I'm really interested to know is what you want out of this", He was surprised and said well I don't know you. Then it was awkward for a bit, then he said I think I like you. See I'm smiling it's a good sign. But let me think what I want out of this.

He took like 3 weeks and didn't tell me. Though he kept in touch and asked me what was dating to me. I said "It would be hanging out with each other and see how we go from there."

SO I texted him after a while and reminded him about what we talked about and that I'm just gonna assume he wants to be friends. He made it sound like he was extremely busy. He said yes I would like to keep it this way and I hope it won't change anything.

Today we saw each other in the cafeteria, but I pretended I didn't see him. And he did the same I think. Is he disgusted of me? I feel horrible?!


Most Helpful Guy

  • The thing is the term "dating" is so friggin confusing because what one person considers "dating" another can consider a "commitment" while another can consider it "a stage before a relationship where you can see other people."

    Now the thing is feelings are starting to arise and you two don't know what direction the other wants to take.

    This honestly requires a sitdown discussion private between you two in person(not by text/phone and all that junk) away from all other people where you two can lay it all down. If you brought up what you said while stuff was going on depending on where you were it could mean that he wouldn't say things that would normally be said.


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What Guys Said 1

  • He's not disgusted of you or anything.

    It's just that things got awkward between the two of you.

    You never really were rejected.

    • Is there a chance that he will ask to hang out with me when he gets free over the summer? I'm dying I miss his face! :( What do you think a guy would do in in this case? I really can't figure out how man think!

What Girls Said 3

  • A somewhat similar thing happened to me. I didn't bring it up that way but I did make him aware of my feelings, and we continued to hang out a lot afterward but I allowed myself to have fun with him and give it time to go somewhere. After time, it became clear that he just wanted a good friend out of it. I think that you should try giving it time but don't make it completely awkward just because you had that conversation. It may have surprised him and it might have felt a little weird for him after you reminded him. Try to hangout but in a relaxed setting, just as friends, and allow him to get to know you. He might just be interested if he sees more of you or if you guys start talking more. Good luck but be prepared that he might end up just being a friend also.

    • Thank you for your answer. REALLY helpful! I would love to hang out with him and talk about it in person but I feel like he is gonna avoid me and ignore me and never ask to hang out or anything. Today at dinner, we kinda pretended we didn't see each other. Please wish me good luck. I'm so in love with this guy, and it hurts seeing him like putting salt on a wound.

    • Give it some time. When things settled down, just try to talk at the casual level, no need to jump right into that conversation again. Good luck and I know it sucks but you can only do so much, and sometimes can doing too much to obtain that can work against you.

  • I think he got mad because you kind of assumed. Just keep talking to him like a friend, and some time ask him if he would like to go out and do something. Just have a good time with him, and he will see how fun you are, and how much he wants to be around you more! :)

  • When you explained what you considered dating, he might have thought that what you currently did together would be considered dating. He might not be sure that he likes you, and might not want to have others think that just yet by doing something that looks like dating. He also may be avoiding you because he's afraid to face the fact that he likes you -- if he does. I'd try waiting it out and seeing what happens. Good luck, hope it helps :)