Would it be weird to date a guy a decade older than I am?

I never actively look for it, but I seem to always end up talking to guys that are quite a bit older than I am.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • At your current age I find it a bit of a stretch only for the fact that you're just 18. You are just now beginning to embark on your life, perhaps by starting college or work. There are still so many things you still have yet to discover about yourself, what you want in life, and about life in general.

    The guy approaching his 30's, assuming he's 28, has been able to grow to the point where he may have gained all the answers to those questions, and perhaps is looking to settle down. He has most likely finished all of his educational endeavors, perhaps started his career path, dated and realize what he wants in a partner and is looking to settle down.

    You on the other hand is beginning to come of age where you are beginning to date and find these answers. You may have a general idea of what you want, but you still lack the experience in determining if the guy you are dating is really the one that is right for you. It's one thing to be intellectually mature but another to be experienced.

    I really don't think it would be a wise idea to date someone ten years older at this point in your life, but if you should choose to do so, understand that while you are just looking to date and see how life is in the dating world, he is most likely looking to settle down (something you most likely aren't ready to do at your age.)

    I'm not saying that 10 years age different is large, just too large at your present age. Once you get a little older and get more experienced in what you want and how to better evaluate how others measure up then of course you can expand your age difference preferences.

    Perhaps once you reach the age of 28 then if you choose to date a guy that happens to be 38, then it would be a lot more compatibility in terms of where you both are in your lives and where you want to go, but at this point in your life, I find ten years a bit too much.

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    • I agree with this. I was at a completely different place in my life at 18 than I am now; you really become more sure of who you are in your early-mid twenties, IMO.

    • I thought it was pretty logical. Kind of surprised it got a down vote. I guess there are some who don't really agree with logic.

What Guys Said 11

  • It depends on what you want. If all you want is sex, then it's OK. Just be discreet about it, relationships with such a large age gap with you being only 18 is a bit frowned upon. However, if you are looking to settle down and get married, there's a problem.

    It is a bit of a damned if you do, damned if you don't situation. Younger guys are quite immature for the most part while older men usually have their stuff together. But older men are not quite as attractive. Younger women are looking for a lot out of men, but it still comes off bad when a girl tries to act older than her age. I face this problem everyday, surrounded by very young college girls who are 18 to 14 and hot. I being old enough to be their father, just can't make any moves on them without facing tremendous drama. Sure, young girls are sex as hell and are the pinnacle of sexual desire, but when it comes to communication and equal interests, the younglings just don't cut it. Would a younger woman be with me for money? I hope not. Few things worse than hearing a teen girl say that men under 40 can't handle their level of mentality. Know what that really means? She's a bitch.

    I'm not one to discourage women from putting out if that is what you want. However, I strongly suggest to find someone a bit closer your age. Once you turn 26 or so, anything goes. Much as I can say that I have no interest in the girls here; if one does present herself to me, not sure if I would send her away. I give zero apologies for being human.

    It's weird because our society just does not embrace it openly. I understand this

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  • I find as a Musician in his 40's that girls in thier 20's & early 30's tend to want a man who has experience, I have had girls almost 15 years or more younger than me ask me to date them & some to just have sex with them because they figure I know how to please a woman . I won't date anyone under 25 now days simply because it's too much like rasing a child. I never had kids (That I Know of at least) because I was touring through most of My 20's & 30's now I just don't want to be having to deal with a teenager in my 50's or 60's because that's what would happen if I had kids now. but I DIGRESS no it's not weird if you both go into it knowing that folks will whisper & talk & as long as you care for & love each other love knows no age so if you don't have issue with it who cares what others think Enjoy

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  • A bit. But its like I always say: Love is love. Though at this point, it's more like statuary rape, lol.

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  • No I do not think anything badly with your choice. There are lost of gilrs like you out there

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  • I end up talking to girls who are a good bit younger than me, and they usually start everything in motion. I don't think there is anything wrong with it at all. It just really depends on the two people involved.

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  • How old are we talking, what is the age gap. If it is substantial then 90% chance its daddy issues. Meaning you have unresolved personal issues or feelings. Trying to fill a gap, are drawn to something you might not have, you might think you'd find from older guys, consciously or subconsciously.

    Resolve these issues by whatever means, and 90% chance you wouln't be drawn to them any more.

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  • Well, as you've already discovered, there's no shortage of 28 year old guys who're champing at the bit to date you. So it really comes down to a question of "who do YOU want to date?" In fact, once you've figured that out, you should be good to go. If you don't know, then just go on dates with lots of different people until you've figured out what kind of guy you want to be with.

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  • Listen to your heart. who cares what anyone else thinks.

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  • Older guys are usually more confident, more worldly, and bottom line have more money.

    Yeah those things aren't stuff that women go for though so I don't know why you would be into that.

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  • i personally think it is

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  • It's not weird.

    If you feel comfortable and respected by them, why not?

    It's a great experience.

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What Girls Said 3

  • It depends on how old you are.

    If you're 20 and he's 30, then its weird. You're in college and he's been an adult and had a real job for years. You two would be at completely different stages in your lives. He's looking to settle down and have children. You're studying and going to frat parties.

    If you're 25 and he's 35, it's less weird. You both have real jobs and are real adults, supporting yourselves. You have similar interests and are at similar spots in your lives.

    The older you get, the less weird it becomes. 10 years is still a huge gap, but when you are at similar places in your lives, it seems like a smaller gap.

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    • I disagree. The 20 and 30 year old really completely depend on the two people. There is some truth to it, but a 22 year old and a 32 year old could be the perfect combo and I have known many girls in early 20s and guys in their early 30s fit together very well. Girls who are mature and confident for their age usually are way better fits with guys who are older.

      I know there are definitely some perv guys in early 30s that might be weird, but that combo is pretty common in a lot of the world

  • No, I don't think its weird. I think a lot of the time women are naturally attracted to older guys and guys are naturally attracted to younger girls.

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  • I think it's weird if it's a pattern like you never date guys your own age and are always dating 10+ guys. No offense but I'd assume a girl like this was either a gold digger or had low self esteem and older men preyed on her

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    • Oh no, I've only dated guys that are a year or two older.

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