How can I get him to reply to my texts and text me back?

There's this guy I really like. We've only spent time together a couple times, once with a group of people and once just the two of us, because of busy schedules and a little bit of a distance between us. We've been talking for about a month now. We talked about sex right away and he said he would wait until I was ready because that would change things for him. The first couple weeks we texted pretty consistently. He would always text me good morning and good night every day. He will text me still but we can go a couple days without talking before he will. Then when he does he's not super talkative like he was in the beginning. When I finally give in and initiated texting him first he doesn't always reply. Even when he's out with friends, working, or doing something else, he will still text me and if he's with friends he tells me who even tho I don't know any of them. I want the flirty, him wanting to see me all the time, talkative, goofy, fun to talk to guy back that I fell for hard and fast in the beginning! How can I get him to text me more and get things back to how they were in the beginning? What about getting him to make plans with me ahead of time? I really like him and will do anything to keep him! We are both in our mid 20's.

Updates:
We've talked about being over always getting hurt and seemed to be on the same page about that. Neither one of us wants to get hurt. I'll be close to where he's from this weekend. How should I suggest that we hangout or ask him if I'll get to see him?
The other day I sent him a picture of me because I was all dressed up and last time I was all dressed up he wanted a picture so he could see how nice I looked. Then today I texted "Hey sexy ;)". Both went unanswered. :(

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Most Helpful Guy

  • If he wants to be with you, then he will try be with you. If he doesn't want to be with you then he's not worth your time. There is a reason that he seems to have lost interest, and that reason is not about you, it's about him, so don't freak out. Regardless of what the reason is, only he can change himself, not you, so don't expect to change him with a magical combination of texts. Personally, I think texts are a poor form of communication anyway.

    I would do as the others said; back off the texting. I would send him a text that says something like, "you seem pretty busy, so I'll leave you alone for a while" and then stop texting (unless he replies by saying he wants you to continue texting him, in which case you should explain how it feels to not get any replies from him). Come this weekend, when you get to his area, I would CALL him and see if he wants to meet up with you while you're there. If he does: hurray, have fun together and be yourself. If he doesn't then you should talk to him (not by texting) about how you feel about him, and ask him if he feels the same way. If he doesn't reciprocate your feelings then there isn't much you can do...

    Hope everything works out.

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    • Thank you very much for your comment! I talked to him yesterday. I asked him if I was going to get to see him and he never answered the question. But he continued talking to me for a little while. I waited hoping he would answer the question but he didn't. Think I should still call him this weekend?

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    • QA: I think this guy should get the best answer. This is really good advice.

    • I agree! He did give a great answer. I'm give him best answer :)

What Guys Said 2

  • Fist off, I'm kinda old school when it comes to talking to "people". Texting is all right, but it has it's flaws in meeting someone for the first time, and even getting to know someone on that deeper level. Texting I feel needs to be addressed as a from of small talk, and that's it! If you want to know someone, and feel there's chemistry, then calling a person, putting more effort, feelings into getting to know someone is the first few steps. Texting you don't get those fluctuations in someones voice, if there sad, mad, happy. Wouldn't you want to hear someone laughing, rather than reading "lol"?

    The next form of problems with texting is that were all trying to be ms, or mr physic, trying to figure out what the emotion is within a text. I've gotten caught up in wondering if someone's mad, because they typed something out of context. It's kinda like reading a book. If two people read the same book, normally you'd get two different emotions, sides to the story. That's where I feel texting has it's huge gap in first starting to know someone.

    That's where the the problem lies I feel happend. This guy might have started off by talking a lot, keeping you "entertained", or should I mention of what you pointed out "I want the flirty, him wanting to see me all the time, talkative, goofy, fun to talk to guy back that I fell for hard and fast in the beginning!" And that's why I stated "texting has it's flaws". I'll be blunt, and just say that it gets old after awhile (the texting). Hell I stopped talking to some woman, because all they want to do, is text. It gets boring, and that's what your facing I believe (not that your boring yourself). It sounded like it was nice for a few weeks, and then it needed another push from somewhere else (maybe a phone call), maybe seeing him, and so forth.

    Lastly I'd like to address your last update, as far as sending him a picture of yourself. I hope, and pry you didn't feel like you didn't look good, or put yourself down in anyway, because of his lack of texting you back. I think it's very rude, and disrespectful on his part for not even trying to get a hold of you. Putting yourself out there with sending a picture, and not getting anything back can be heart breaking. I have a lot of sympathy for you, and can understand why you have a lack of trust with guys. We can be very disappointed in many ways, but (and I'd hate to put myself on a high pedestal) there are guys like myself that try to be better each, and everyday, rather than being one sided, and thinking about themselves.

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    • Thank you. It was heartbreaking to send him a pic and not get a reply. I would love to talk on the phone vs texting. I did call him a couple times. Once he answered the other time he didn't. And he never called me back and he never called me first.

  • I don't think you can get him to text you if he doesn't want to. I think you'll have to let it play out by itself. I prize real-communication over texting. It is just that much more close and personal. Not that texting doesn't have its place, but texting should not replace real communication.

    If you want to make plans with him, then just do it. Communicate.

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    • I'm trying to communicate but it doesn't seem that he is. I think the relationship with him and I isn't going to go anywhere :( I'm kinda at the point where I'm just done trying. I guess he'll text or call if he wants to and at that point it may or may not be too late.

    • Well, I think xcrunner2414 pretty much said everything there is to say. So I guess don't text him. Let him text you back.

      In your case, maybe you need to take the relationship more slowly. Or maybe its going faster for him than it is for you and he thinks its too fast.

What Girls Said 4

  • I would text him this picture: link

    and then wait. Because that sh*t's funny.

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    • That is a funny picture! He does have a dog too. ha ha I want to text him something tho to start a conversation. I made 2 updates to my question. Did you see them? I'd appreciate any help and advise! :)

    • back up off him and just send the picture- no message. curveballs are fun, the unexpected is fun!

  • He's losing interest honey. I would just back off and find a diff guy that has the same level of interest as you do.

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  • I think he probably got bored, or he's thinking things over since you both have been hurt be4 he may be afraid of commitment so give him time if he still wants you he'll eventually text you back ..

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  • Back off, give him space and room to breathe just let it go for a while. Only time will tell, there are plenty of other fish in the sea. Don't be so up type with just one guy. Be realistic

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