Most common reason you don't date somebody you're interested in?

What's the most common reason that you don't end up dating somebody you're interested in? You meet a man/woman that you wouldn't mind dating, but it never materializes- why?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Usually because I'm attracted, but I find a flaw that would make him a bad boyfriend. Say he hits on all the girls or I know he has a reputation for sleeping around (or trying to sleep around, even if not successful). It's not exactly a prize to claim that.

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What Girls Said 19

  • Im scared of rejection. Well not necessarily. Id be fine if the guy let me down nicely. I'm actually more afraid of being humiliated. I'm afraid the guy is going to be mean to me or laugh at me so I never show interest or reveal my feelings towards them. I'm a pretty optimistic person but not when it cones down to this kind of stuff. So I get so nervous that I can't help but act awkward. I bet I look like an idiot but I can't help it.

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    • If it's a quiet or shy guy, he won't humiliate you and probably won't tell other people about it. But if he's loud or popular, you can bet on the whole class knowing about it the next day.

    • Yeah unfortunately, the guy I like right now is not shy at all. He's really outgoing and knows so many people. He doesn't go to school though but I see him at work.

  • So far because I convince both of us I'm not interested.

    ( because 'wanting to be with someone' is difficult for me to admit to myself because it feels undignified. bneath me. demeaning.)

    bc feel obligated to be alone. wanting someone presents as a sort of failure for me.

    so I lie to both of us until they get fed up and go away.

    then I feel bad about it. but not as bad as I think ill feel if I make an actual effort to be with them.

    bc that would mean I REALLY want to. and its not something I'm supposed to 'want'. its against the rules.

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    • Good for you for being that open about it. Hopefully you'll let your guard down a little bit in time. Being with somebody doesn't have to mean giving up 'you'.

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    • Yeah, I understand. As long as you keep things within reason and don't let it blind you then you should trust your own ability/judgmental to make the right decision.

    • i made my decision 17 years ago. it isn't about making decisions its about being able to look outside of my decision.

      anyways I didn't mean to give you the impression its bothering me. its just how it is. I'm used to it. when it matters enough ill either let go of old thinking or I won't and ill have to dal with either consequence. that's life.

  • It's either because I'm too afraid of rejection or because I know they're actually bad for me and I can do better. Rejection would be fine if the guy did it decently, but from my experience, loud guys always humiliate the person they rejected. Only one guy has let me down nicely so far and hasn't told anyone about it, but he is a shy guy so I guess those are more decent. I've been attracted to guys who were really sexy, but just had the worst personalities. They were manipulative, liars or would constantly clash with my personality, so I never ended up pursuing it.

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    • Yeah it sounds like you're going after the wrong kinds of guys if that is happening to you. No decent person would do that.

  • many reasons. could be that your too close as friends or you know that a close friend and this person had a past. could be that your parents don't approve of this person.

    my personal reason would be that me and him are too close as friends.

    just my opinion. hope this helps.

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  • I often develop feelings for male friends, so I convince myself that I don't actually want to be with him and that it's not worth sacrificing our friendship.

    And sometimes I meet a guy who is fantastic and then he has a girlfriend.

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  • It has a lot to do with my own insecurities but also timing is not always right. Either that or the other person isn't interested.

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  • I think that he's not interested in me.

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  • Usually because that someone has a reputation of being a playboy..Even if I like him but I know he has a fling, I wouldn't sacrifice myself knowing that person will not gonna change his personality.

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  • Either he does drugs,is a cheater,or something else..

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  • Location or age.

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  • Because he's talking to me about the other girls he's talking to or because he keeps talking about how much he doesn't want a relationship

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  • For me it's usually that I just don't want a relationship at that time.

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  • He has cheated on someone previously.

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  • I'm in a relationship. their in a relationship. or they assume I'm in a relationship. or they don't get along with friends

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  • He is talking to many girls. I am just a number then...:(

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  • too nervous, afraid that the ending is negative because I always don't have the luck

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  • Fear. If you have ever had your heart broken, it can keep you from pursuing a person that you are interested in cause you don't want to go through heart break again.

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  • they already have someone

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  • General insecurity and/or becoming tongue-tied in his presence. Or he's taken, which happens frequently.

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What Guys Said 8

  • This is actually a problem that I am having right now. But I am gonna put another reason than most.

    I am a Muslim and even though I know I will make a good bf/ husband .. I feel that my culture will clash with many girls where I live( sweden) . The second thing is that I am not sure if I would stay in Sweden forever. Now should I get into a relationship while I am not sure if I am staying in the country forever?

    I wanna be fair and honest to my future partner.. she deserves nothing less the happiness I want for myself.

    These two reasons make me hesitant to pursue girls in Sweden. Anybody has sincere advice ? lol

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    • Hmm, that's a legitimate concern. I think you should date casually (that doesn't mean hooking up, just meeting and being around new people) and if you click with somebody, be open about your concerns and see how they feel.

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    • I think that going out for something casual like coffee isn't wasting a persons time. Even if nothing becomes of it, it's fun to socialize, meet new people, network possibly, etc. If something romantic comes of it, cool. If not, that doesn't mean it can't still be a good time on both peoples part.

    • make sense.. thanks my man for your perspective !

  • Shyness, afraid that she won't like me or sees me only as friend material, or she could find someone better than me.

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  • The cynic in me finds infinite logical presumptions that she doesn't like me and thus I fall prey for the cynicism many a times.

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  • Sometimes I get shy.

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  • shyness

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  • Because I'm really really shy lol.

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  • Because I don't trust them to get close to me in that way

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  • Because I'm a huge p**** when it comes to that also caz I don't have a cellphone

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