I know it's a bad question to ask, but it's on my mind, and it's something that I've been asking myself this question too. Not to be negative, and I'm not trying to point out that I'm a cheap skate, or don't feel like paying for dinners, but it just feels like woman have it easy sometimes (not that us guys have our problems, and are easy). But sometimes I feel like I'd rather be single, and date less, because it's cheaper.
Normally what happens is, the first date I try to do some form of coffee date, and then when it comes to the second date I try to pay for that too, because of how I was raised, and the chivalry of the circumstances that it's nice to do. Again it comes back around, and I wonder if I choose to not go all the way with dating, because of how expensive it is sometimes to have a girlfriend, or even dating...
Again, and I'll point it out... I'm not a cheap skate, or selfish by any means, but it's something that I feel needs to be addressed. Times are tight, and people don't have as much money. Hell, I can't even afford to eat out myself, and then have to pay for two people. It just gets old... Plus sometimes you don't even get a chance to get into a relationship, and you've already paid for coffee (that's not that much, but still a point), and possibly a dinner, and a movie.
Now, I know there are free things, and tons of things to do, but I'm stateing the facts opon the first 1-5 dates (and that's if you get to date that much).
Anyway let me know what you think guys, and girls are of course welcome to chime in, and have the discussion as well...
If anything, I'd also like to know what the Girls point of view is. I feel at some point down the road, when you get into the "relationship", "Girlfriend, and "Boyfriend" status it comes to a 50%-50% way of living (not to say I'd put more that just the 50% into the relationship).
Thanks again for the answers to my question :)
Thank you so much 4 all of your kind words, & your advice on the matter. I guess it all comes down 2 being used sometimes in which I feel. As why-makoto-kun pointed out “The guy treating 4 anything is seriously overrated in casual dating, & it causes so much resentment”. At the same time I agree with kholland65 in which he stated “The money becomes a non issue because I deem her a worthy expense, just like buying a fun gadget 4 myself. I enjoy paying for her”.
At the end, I’m grateful 2 hear both sides of the story, & grateful 2 know that it’s not one sided as I thought (because of hearing the woman’s side of the spectrum), & that there R decent woman out there (like the 1’s on here that have answered the question).
Thanks so much, & maybe I’ll try a little harder, & not feel used, or resentment, but just have fun with it, & hope 4 the best that I can find that soul mate :)
Most Helpful Girl
As a girl, when just starting to date a guy, I think it's important to AT LEAST offer to chip in for the bill, especially if its pricey. Also, it seems a lot of guys feel the need to pay for the girl, and it reflects in your question as you try to justify yourself (i.e., "I'm not a cheap skate"..."times are tight").
You shouldn't have to justify not wanting to blow money on dating. It's perfectly reasonable. I mean, hell, like you said: you spend money going on a few dates, it doesn't work out, and you feel like you just blew a hole in your wallet.
There have actually been times that I've turned down a date because I knew I couldn't afford to pay my share. I'm always flattered when the guy pays, of course, but I certainly don't expect it.
Now with my boyfriend, things naturally even out on their own. He'll pay for dinner one night, I'll pay the next, etc. It's 50-50.4