Is it a bad sign for a guy to always have to initiate conversation or keep it going?

I've been talking to a girl for about 4 months now. I was always interested in her since we met so a month ago I asked her on a date. In my eyes the date went well but the entire time we have been talking she hasn't texted me once first and if I don't keep talking she won't either. I know she texts a lot because she had her phone out more often than I would have liked on the date. When I do text her I'll get a few words in reply but nothing to make a conversation out of, it's more one sided. Should I take that as a hint?

Updates:
Thank you so much everyone for your replies. I apologize for taking so long to get back to you on here, I'm a musician and I've been doing a lot of shows. I've been just trying to go with the flow with this girl. Sometimes she starts the contact now but then she won't again for days if I don't. It's confusing as hell but for the time being I'll stick with her, she's lucky I like her so much ha.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Normally I'd say it's a typical girl thing to do...waiting for the guy to text I mean. In this case however, I'm not so sure. I think it's weird that she would have her cell out ON your date. A complete no-go!

    Also, you initiated contact, which would be, in turn, her chance to answer...but instead she texts back only a "few words"? I think I would stop texting her to see what happens. Or just talk to her about it. It's not like you just met. After 4 months of talking and a date there's nothing wrong with talking about where you two stand. What could happen really? Worst case she tells you she isn't interested. Way easier than trying to analyse her texting-behavior :-)

    Good luck! Hope things work out for you.

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    • Thanks for BA. :) I hope everything turns out the way you want it to. I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

What Girls Said 7

  • It really could go both ways, although it sounds like she's not that interested. If I were you I'd either ask her about it, or wait a few days to a week to see if she ever texts you first and if she doesn't then take that as a hint. For me personally it doesn't matter how "busy" I am, if I like a guy a lot I'll put in the effort. And as ashamed as I am to admit this, honestly when I'm not that into a guy I don't text first, won't keep the conversation going, take hours to respond with no explanation why, etc.

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    • Also, as for her texting while y'all were on a date...that's just plain rude. I could be bored out of my mind on a date and not be interested in the guy at all and I still have the common courtesy to keep my phone in my purse.

  • That's definitely a hint. As a girl, I usually wait for the guy to text me first, but if I'm into them, I am sure to keep a conversation going. Its common that if a girl isn't into you tho that she won't bother putting any effort into texting you because she simply doesn't care. You don't have to bring it up to her, just stop texting her and if after a while she doesn't text you first to see what's up, she never wanted to talk to you in the first place.

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  • I tend to not intitiate contact and I let the guy set the pace of the conversations/relationship. I don't think that she doesn't care per say, because I never initiate conversation even though I like the guy a lot! (I'm weird, I know) But maybe she is old fashioned and rather you do the chasing and initiations. I'd say give it another date and if the phone comes out to text then its a huge red flag.

    If she takes the time to talk to others and not you, especially when you are sitting there right in front of her, then I'd end things regardless if you know whether she likes you or not. It's rude and a waste of your time to watch her play on her phone.

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    • "because I never initiate conversation even though I like the guy a lot! (I'm weird, I know)"

      I'm inclined to think that a major majority of girls, thus meaning that you are very normal (...sadly for us guys)

  • Of course, all girls wants to be texted first by the guys. I can relate with the situation but not with the "few-words-in-reply-part" I just wait for the guy to text me that's why I'm with my phone always. I also won't talk if you won't do it first. I think the girl likes you but she just don't want to show it, she thinks that doing it that way won't make you think that she likes you. =))

    Please also help me with my question. Thank you :)

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  • Stop texting her at all see what happens. When & she ask why you haven't texted her reply been busy .if you stop chasing her, if she's really interested she'll start chasing you. If she thinks she already has you hooked she won't put in an effort

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  • yes I think so

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  • it could be a hint that she's not interested either that or she is a boring person who just doesn't have much to say

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What Guys Said 2

  • if she's going to make you do all the work then I don't think she is an ideal type

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  • While I was reading I was thinking "Dude, she's so into you that she wants you to do all the work!" (which is sadly the way things work with girls" until I read "because she had her phone out more often than I would have liked on the date" which screams to me that she isn't interested one bit

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