How do I find out if he still cares about me?

Basically I have been dating this guy for 4 months. I like him a lots and it was all perfect for the first month or two. For the past two months he's been texting me less and less. We used to text all day everyday. And now he textes me once or twice a day, and his main excuse is that he's with his mates. That does not change the fact that he was with them when we started texting too and we texted all day every day. We do argue a lot about smallest and silliest things such as me getting annoyed with him not texting me, him chosing to spend his time with his mates over seeing me, him being jealous of my male mates talking to me etc. We literally argue about anything and his excuse is ''because I am a d***''. Everything is fine when we are together, he's loving and seems like he loves me, but he's such a d*** when we are not together. We also used to meet 2-3 times a week and now we meet once. I don't know weather we should have a break to think things over if we actually suit each other or just ignore him back. Help me please


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Let me tell you what HE would say:

    "I met this girl 4 months ago, and at first I tried to keep up with her and I really tried hard, but this girl wants to text non-stop, and I can't have any life or get anything done like that. And when I don't text her all day, she gets upset that I'm having any kind of a life without her. We're great when we get together, and she's happy and relaxed, but as soon as I'm gone, she's expecting to text me morning, noon, and night, and I can't handle it anymore."

    The bottom line is this: guys HATE texting. Yeah, they'll do it at first, to GET a girl, but they quickly remember how much they hate texting, and a little while into a relationship, they're going to text MUCH less often. Why? For a couple of reasons:

    - They hate texting.

    - They didn't get into the relationship to talk over text, they get into it to talk IN PERSON.

    - Guys don't multitask well (we're designed to focus on ONE task at a time), and texting requires attention, so for a guy, every time he gets a text, he has to STOP what he's doing, switch his focus, read the text, reply to the text, and then go back to what he was doing before. When he's got things to do, or even if he's just watching a TV show with his friends or something, the constant start-stop-start-stop will drive him crazy.

    What I'm trying to say is that you are being WAY too needy, and you are driving him away. You need to learn to save your conversations until you are physically together, and if something just can't wait, CALL him. Texting should be for passing along non-time-sensitive information and for asking quick, single-reply questions. You want to have text CONVERSATIONS with your boyfriend, and frankly, that's unrealistic, because guys aren't going to do that.

    If you want to text all day, do that with your GIRLfriends. They are girls, they can multitask, and they actually LIKE texting. Guys don't. We like to talk in person, face-to-face.

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What Guys Said 8

  • In a good relationship, there should be little or no belittling. It seems that way though. You say he is nice, but his belittling makes his "niceness" not very nice.

    If he still cares about you, then he will go out of his way to contact you, preferably by real life communication or phone calls, and not texting. Texting is not love.

    Perhaps this relationship isn't the best for you if you argue about many things. Imagine if you were his wife. Would both of you be able to handle the constant arguments? If he can't understand your feelings and have empathy for you when you ask him about not texting, then apparently he doesn't have god communication skills. He should be able to listen to what you have to say, not get annoyed and block all communication. He shouldn't be jealous, because in relationships there should be TRUST.

    So yes, perhaps this isn't the relationship for you, and you need to find someone that won't insult you and can focus more time on you, rather than mostly just his friends.

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  • You find out by observing his actions, which speak volumes.

    He's been distancing himself over the last two months, giving you lame excuses, not bothering to give you an excuse at all ("because I'm a d***" doesn't even count as an excuse in my book), being jealous and disrespectful of your time... you see and talk to each other less... and when you do talk, you argue about all these things!

    Please tell me you see where this is going. Save yourself the trouble and move on.

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  • Limit your texting. In the beginning of a relationship its all OK because you are in the bliss awe stage. But later as the relationship gos to a different level, he feels that he can hang out with his friends more. Don't give him a hard time about it either because that can make things worse because you might lose him all because of miscommunication.

    Try hanging out with your friends and have personal fun time without him. Give each other time to grow when you aren't around each other during the relationship and grow when you are together during the relationship as well.

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  • You have to ask him. There is absolutely no possibility of someone giving you an accurate answer over the internet. Chances are that nobody here has met you or your boyfriend. We don't know either of your personalities. There are just to many variables. The best I can do is give you an opinion and to be perfectly honest, it seems like he is trying to get away from you. It also seems like you're exacerbating the situation by getting annoyed when he doesn't text you. He I'm sure he has other things to do and he can't constantly be texting you all day.

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  • ohh oh oh miss lady you are doing nothing wrong I assure you maybe your dude is not boyfrined material. maybe he has taken you for granted anyways if you not happy and if he doesn't even care then you shouldn't eithir that would teach him and if it goes down the slide then you better off.

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  • It sounds like you are both being immature. It might be best to break up and move on.

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  • He seems to be distancing himself from you. When I do this, it is because I don't want to talk to the person anymore but don't want to be rude and just abruptly blow them off.

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  • Hes tryin to get away from yaaa

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