Basically I have been dating this guy for 4 months. I like him a lots and it was all perfect for the first month or two. For the past two months he's been texting me less and less. We used to text all day everyday. And now he textes me once or twice a day, and his main excuse is that he's with his mates. That does not change the fact that he was with them when we started texting too and we texted all day every day. We do argue a lot about smallest and silliest things such as me getting annoyed with him not texting me, him chosing to spend his time with his mates over seeing me, him being jealous of my male mates talking to me etc. We literally argue about anything and his excuse is ''because I am a d***''. Everything is fine when we are together, he's loving and seems like he loves me, but he's such a d*** when we are not together. We also used to meet 2-3 times a week and now we meet once. I don't know weather we should have a break to think things over if we actually suit each other or just ignore him back. Help me please
Most Helpful Guy
Let me tell you what HE would say:
"I met this girl 4 months ago, and at first I tried to keep up with her and I really tried hard, but this girl wants to text non-stop, and I can't have any life or get anything done like that. And when I don't text her all day, she gets upset that I'm having any kind of a life without her. We're great when we get together, and she's happy and relaxed, but as soon as I'm gone, she's expecting to text me morning, noon, and night, and I can't handle it anymore."
The bottom line is this: guys HATE texting. Yeah, they'll do it at first, to GET a girl, but they quickly remember how much they hate texting, and a little while into a relationship, they're going to text MUCH less often. Why? For a couple of reasons:
- They hate texting.
- They didn't get into the relationship to talk over text, they get into it to talk IN PERSON.
- Guys don't multitask well (we're designed to focus on ONE task at a time), and texting requires attention, so for a guy, every time he gets a text, he has to STOP what he's doing, switch his focus, read the text, reply to the text, and then go back to what he was doing before. When he's got things to do, or even if he's just watching a TV show with his friends or something, the constant start-stop-start-stop will drive him crazy.
What I'm trying to say is that you are being WAY too needy, and you are driving him away. You need to learn to save your conversations until you are physically together, and if something just can't wait, CALL him. Texting should be for passing along non-time-sensitive information and for asking quick, single-reply questions. You want to have text CONVERSATIONS with your boyfriend, and frankly, that's unrealistic, because guys aren't going to do that.
If you want to text all day, do that with your GIRLfriends. They are girls, they can multitask, and they actually LIKE texting. Guys don't. We like to talk in person, face-to-face.1