The guy I'm dating has asked me serious questions that I think are kind of weird to ask on the first and/or second date. i.e. Do I want kids, do I have to have a career, and would I move. I guess I may just be used to jerks, but I find it a little off putting. What is you guys opinion?
Most Helpful Guy
Part of the process of dating is figuring out what a person is like, whether your personalities are compatible, whether you can hold good conversations, and the like.
Jumping to deal breaker questions ruins the fun and spontaneity of the first several dates. Sure, if you're a woman pushing 40 who desperately wants kids, that's something you might want to touch upon fairly early on in the relationship. But asking pointed questions right off the bat isn't my idea of having an awesome time. It feels like a test in school, or a job interview.
It's hard to say whether that's "normal" or not. I wouldn't do it because dates are about sharing incredible experiences together, not interrogating each other. You have a whole lifetime ahead of you to answer those important questions, and I feel that by having to get all serious on the first couple of dates, you're intentionally robbing yourself of that happy-go-luckiness and magic stardust that you find in movies all the time (see 50 First Dates).
Just because you're serious about finding a match doesn't mean you can't spend a few days or evenings accepting a person for who they are. It's like the process is reversed: first I'll figure out if we're a lifestyle match, and then I'll give her the chance to impress me with her charm and personality.
Some of the best relationships are those where people with different values find common ground and love the f*ck out of each other so much that they end up healthily compromising on the rest.1