Do you feel cheated/ disappointed when the girl hitting on you is inexperienced after all?

I'm dating this guy for a month, but it reached a point where he's complaining I should relax more around him...

I want to, but I think the real problem here is my inexperience, I'm too self conscious about it sometimes, not knowing if I'm doing things right, if the kissing is awkward or whatever.

Of course I haven't inform him of that detail and that probably didn't occurred to him either because I'm in my late 20's, and probably also because I was/ am the one showing interest and asking him out...

Guess the reason I'm inexperienced is because I never really liked a guy this much before. I've dated some guys, but never seriously. I'm realizing at this late time I didn't really build experience (that I now need!) because I didn't care to!

So I'm kinda reaching a dead end... Apparently I can flirt and he responds happily, but what happens when I don't have the practice to back it up? No doubt I'm interested, but because I like him I get all shy and clumsy when he gets closer which leaves him kinda puzzled and me embarrassed.

He initiates stuff but, given the circumstances, for the most part maybe he's waiting for me to hit on him, not the other way around.

Guess it's strange being the chaser, am I doing it all wrong? I'm pretty sure it's different, but what do guys do in this situation?

I don't wanna be a teaser, but I also don't wanna throw myself at him, it's already hard as it is... I really don't know what to do, any ideas?


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What Guys Said 2

  • Just take his words at face value. Relax more. As long as you're into it, you can just keep experimenting with new things and keep doing whatever gets the best reaction.

    Just keep up the flirting and then escalate the physical action. You'll know you're done when you need a towel! :P

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    • Wow, you make it sound so easy!... And fast! =O

    • Hahahaha! In fairness, there should be a lot between "escalating physical action" and needing a towel! :P

    • I'm not sure why would I be needing a towel, but will try not to think about that too much =)

      I'm into it/ him, although it's a bit overwhelming sometimes, and I'm just not sure if he would be as well...

  • First of all, try to relax. Second of all, go easy on yourself.

    People all progress through life at different rates. Now, being that you haven't told him you're "inexperienced" might cause for him to "complain" (there's a difference between "complaining" and "asking because he wonders"... That's for another time though).

    When you say "puzzled", does he look at you weird or does he ask questions? Most men aren't the best at communicating with others, so talking things out helps (of course only to the point that you're comfortable sharing).

    You're doing great for being the chaser in this case. If only more gals would realize most guys do NOT get hints in flirting.

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    • Thanks for your answer.

      When I say puzzled, I mean he asks questions or teases me playfully. He says "you're so funny", or "so I'm here, why aren't you doing anything?", stuff like that. Sometimes he'll stop kissing and just talk about random things (to make me less nervous I guess), and then kiss again. But well, we haven't done it that much yet...

      Could you expand on the difference between "complaining" and "asking because he wonders"?

    • Given the context you used "complaining", I would say he's more "asking / commenting because he wonders" In my mind, complaining in a romantic relationship would be more akin to nagging (think of "do we have to go over this AGAIN?!?")

      "Asking / commenting because he wonders" is more of: "I think there's a reason why she's acting this way, lets see what happens when I do ; hopefully she'll tell me when she's comfortable with me."

      Feel free to add as a friend if you need more explaination

    • Thanks, I really appreciate your explanation!

      I'm still not sure if it's a good thing being the chaser, sometimes it feels a bit like Little Red Riding Hood going with the wolf for a walk... I suppose guys don't usually have this dilemma?

      Either way, guess it's a good thing he wanting me to get comfortable. I'll try to just trust him and take his words at face value, since there isn't much else I can do, right =)

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