Do "test" the people you're dating? If so, then how and why? If not, then what do you think of tests and the various games people play in relationships?
Most Helpful Girl
I think it's normal to some degree, and I think "testing" happens on a sub-conscious level. Case in point, I used to date this guy who never got upset about anything, ever. He was so laid-back it's like he was in a coma. I found myself being more and more obnoxious and bitchy to get a reaction out of him. I didn't actually put it together at the time, though. It was like a game- I wanted to see just HOW big of an a**hole I could be and still "get away" with it. People with no discernable boundaries are targets for some people (like me) who just have to know where they will draw the line- or OF they ever will. It's childish (and to be fair to myself, I was much younger when this happened) but I think what I wanted was for him to finally call me out on my bad behavior- and he never did. ANYthing I did was okay with him, and that wasn't okay with me.
I think most people are like that. I think it has to do with what Malcom X said that time, "If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything." I mean, when you know where someone stands, you will have a better idea of where *you* stand in relation to them. If that makes any sense. Which possibly it does not, but I tried.
Anyway, if you mean "testing" as in making up a bunch of sh*t you try to get the other person to do in order to make clear the pecking order- I think that's manipulative and underhanded. I don't do THAT, and if I felt like someone was doing that to me I would not react well. At all.1