My boyfriend is confused after 6 years dating.... what should I do?

Lately my boyfriend has been very confused and stressed about what the next step is. When he thinks he is close to an answer, he backs out again. All he sees is a block/ a fear that doesn't allow him to either stay or go... What should I do? I love him very much. We have a great relationship. I don't want to lose him.


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What Guys Said 1

  • You should encourage him.

    Make him comfortable and give him that little push.

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    • Any ideas of how I can do that? I've been understanding, not pushy or nagging, or pressuring him to make a decision... gave him some space so he could think without being influenced... I just don't know what else to do...

What Girls Said 1

  • Just remember...no matter what his doing, or his decision making...IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU. He does feel pressure but my best advice for you is to LISTEN to his fears and frustrations...What is causing him to feel in a hurry when he clearly doesn't want to go forward with the next step. Whatever it is tell him this clearly 'babe, I have been and will be here for you. I feel bad seeing you as frustrated as you are because honestly, like you, I have no hurry in getting married with you yet. I have things to do..blah blah too. The only thing I would like for you to help me in is to understand what is triggering you to feel in pressure? I would greatly appreciate if you start sharing with me your thoughts on the matter for I feel it is unfair for me to be placed in a place of helplessness where I can't understand where your frustration is coming from? If he won't let you in on the situation, then I really suggest giving YOURSELF a space, meaning keep talking to him as if nothings going on at a distance, help him help himself by giving him small simple space to breathe and figure out what he wants out of this relationship. Make it clear for him though that if you want marriage you do expect this too happen soon if not then tell him otherwise too.

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