I wrote her this letter, it made her cry... she has a boyfriend and is acting this way - red flag?

There's a girl I have been friends with for 2 years but there's always been that romantic spark between us. We know each other very well. She has a "boyfriend" but has complained about him repeatedly - he treats her quite poorly. I decided one day to write her a letter telling her how much I cared about her and other stuff (I wasn't trying to "steal" her away, I just needed to get the truth out there). When she read it she texted me saying that she was sitting in bed crying from happiness because nobody ever said anything so sweet, that she liked me since day one but just never thought I liked her back, that I mean the world to her. She said her boyfriend would never say something like that to her.

So the next morning she texts me "good morning sunshine" and all that. The next time I see her she's giving me hugs, slight hand touching - the overall vibe is very relationship-like. I was fine with it at first, but then realized... wait, she still technically has a boyfriend, and is doing this? Then I was on Facebook she wrote like "Saturdays with my main man :3" and "I wish my boy was here" and stuff. She had a job interview this morning so I text her "I heard through the grapevine you have an interview today... good luck and remember to flash them beautiful pearly whites of yours :P" to which I got no reply.

Honestly, it would have been fine if she got the letter and told me she DIDN'T like me back, or just didn't mention it, as my goal and tone with the letter was just to let her know how much I care, friends or otherwise. However, if she told me all that stuff and turns out she was just saying it for the sake of saying it, I am going to be mad. What do you think?

Updates:
UPDATE: I am thinking of confronting her tomorrow, just saying that I don't know if I like what she's doing because she is playing with SOMEBODY'S emotions here - either mine or her boyfriends' and it's not right. What do you think?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Wow wtf, saying Saturdays with my man, and wish my boy was here, after she did all that...wow. I've been there man, I f***ing hate when a women does that, they are truly honest to god, just immature and have NO IDEA WHAT THEY WANT! they can't make their godamn minds up, women are supposed to be the romantic one's right... I know how you feel right now, and its the worst feeling in the world, women will just lead you on, I'm starting to think they are just attention whores, I'm truly sorry this is happening to you, I hope you feel better, have a nice day man.

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What Girls Said 3

  • she likes you but obviously still cares for her boyfriend afterall she did love him at somepoint, she's scared of hurting him but in the meantime she's hurting you and that's the problem, situations like this always hurt someone, the reason she's posting all this on Facebook is because she's trying to throw her boyfriends completely off the idea of her liking someone else by making her relationship seem like its going well, I would deffinatly confront her and get her to tell you what she really really wants, let her know you are there to help her through any confusing situation she's in and see where it goes from there, I hope this helps!

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  • She likes you and its confusing her.

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  • Oh, she definitely likes you, but I think she's afraid of the aftermath if she leaves her boyfriend. But on the flipside, limit your communication because the last thing you need is her boyfriend in your face.

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What Guys Said 3

  • Ur not trying to steal her?! Who are you kidding? Some jerk stole my exgf recently, it's people like you who sweet talk to girls that give long term boyfriend a hard time! Over time after the honeymoon period boys naturally get into a routine where they don't show as much affection to their girlfriend, then people like you swoop in for the kill. How would you feel if someone did that to your gf?

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  • At least you're the guy a girl is cheating with. Try not to be the one she's cheating on.

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  • Ultimately, you can't force her to leave him. But he can't force her to stay with him.

    What do you mean when you say he treats her badly? If he's been cheating on her or abusive or hateful towards her, I wouldn't think it at all immoral for you to try to get her to leave him and be with you. If he's less bad than that, I might still be OK with it. (I'm assuming this guy isn't associated with you in any way except through her. If for example he works with you, that could cause problems.)

    You've already been super-honest with her. So, you might as well go the whole hog. Tell her to be honest with you. And tell her that, if she really means what she says, then you want her to leave that guy and be with you. But this time tell her face to face, so that she knows you're serious and so you can force her to make a decision one way or the other instead of just ignoring you.

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