Ok well there's a girl I'm dating, and I know she is the type that feels appreciated when you DO something for her.
Ok so she's asked me a few times if I know how to do yard, she wants her yard re done. I told her yes, I do, but we are only dating, I don't do stuff like that unless I'm in a relationship because I don't like getting used.
Well she tells me the other day "My ex is trying to get back with me and he's telling me all the right things... like he wants to do my backyard but I don't know if I want him in my house..."
Will I look like a giant wuss if I now all of a sudden do her yard?
Yeah there are games here.
Most Helpful Guy
This could fall into a few categories.
Perhaps one, she wants the work done and knowing you're capable of doing it is genuinely asking you to do it as a favor. Though I really don't know enough about her or your situation to really validate this particular theory.
Another potential is she wants you to do it, but she's testing you to see how much she can push you. To conveniently factor in the ex boyfriend is definitely a sign where she may be employing some manipulative tactics. One good thing (if it is indeed true) is the fact that she stated "I don't know if I want him in my house." It clearly could be an indication that is confirming this theory.
If they did indeed part under hostile terms then she is possibly thinking she can force your hand by getting you to cave and do the yard to take away the ex option all together. Even then I would not really do the yard simply because for one, it could be the start of your downfall as if she can always bring up an ex to get you to do things, she already knows that is a great trump card to play.
In this case I would try and get her to open up more about this ex and perhaps she will slip and give you confirmation of how things ended between them. Whatever you do don't jump in and do the yard work.
Additionally, once you figure all of that out, I would inform her not to make comparisons or threats regarding her ex and you. Remind her she is now dating you and the past should remain in the past.
Finally, if it is indeed valid that her ex is trying to get back with (and she is actually considering it) then chances are, since they have a history that is most likely stronger than the history you two share (being that you're still just dating her) then I don't think any amount of yard work will make her favor you over him so it will all be in vain anyway.
Though of all the variables, I really seem to lean on the possibility of the second one. Either way I think you need to stand firm on your decision not to do the yard work. If she doesn't like it, but respects it, then all is well and she will realize that the ex trump card won't work with you. If she continues to date you she will have a renewed respect for you and will most likely not try that particular angle again. If she decides to stop dating you, then it shows that she has some issues and they were most likely going to surface sooner or later, so better sooner than later.1
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