What affects dating success more for men, social skills or physical looks?

Do you think men are more/less successful than others in dating more because of their physical looks or their social skills.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Social Skills FTW!

    A guy can look great, but if he is lacking in the social skills department then he will have a hard time getting girls. The thing about dating is that personality does matter. And if you are someone who is standofish and doesn't talk to people, you are missing out on opportunities to meet girls and forge potential relationships with them.

    A guy who is outgoing, has a great attitude and seems to be really comfortable in social situations will have greater success than someone who is a wallflower.

    Social skills also help maintain relationships. Believe it or not, communication is key. People who have good social skills will be better able to deal with difficult situations in relationships.

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    • I just don't like talking to random people I don't know much. Don't confuse that with I can't. I just think it feels weird talking to people I don't know and putting on fake charm.

    • I know you are not comfortable, but if you see someone you would like to get to know better (especially a girl), then you need to make an effort to approach. You are missing opportunities. I'm not saying you have to change who you are completely (I'm shy too, and standoffish, I know it's hard). But make an effort to approach and be a little more open. It will help open up more opportunities to meet girls for you :)

What Girls Said 22

  • I say both as many are lacking the ability to find a proper dating partner. I would say social skills because you need proper communication for when you are dating. But the sad part is everybody goes for the looks! Looks should never matter. Nobody is perfect in the looks department. If we was so perfect we wouldn't be born with gaps in our teeth, or shave every now and then, or change our hair color, or even or hair texture. Or get implants when we really don't need it but we get it because we want to attract people. But meanwhile so many lacks proper comunication. So I have a problem with both. But what I cannot stand are people who are phony in both areas.

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  • It's very difficult to say. If you're looking for a fling, then looks will definitely be a benefit. If you're looking for something that'll last longer, then social skills are more important. At the end of the day, you want your partner to have more depth than just the appearance. Regardless of how hot a guy is, if I can't have a decent conversation with him about more or less anything, I will quickly become bored of him. Having great social skills and being about average when it comes to looks is actually great. You know girls won't go after you just for your looks, and you'll get them to fall for you because of the things you say, which isn't really all that easy and it's something to be proud of! I'll swoon over a hot guy any day, but that's boring in the long run. Falling for a witty, funny, smart and kind man is ideal to me.

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  • I think it really goes hand in hand but lets face it.. it takes time to get to know someone, it takes a second to look over and see them to notice them. If they look unattractive or unappealing to you, then that's already one more hurtle they have to over come. So I would say physical looks..

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  • A mix of both but no answer here would be correct as everyone has their own personal preferences. Some people like laid back quieter men while others like outgoing type A personalities. And we all know everyone has different taste in physical appearance.

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  • You should've made this a poll.

    For a relationship:

    Social skills.

    Looks is the hook, social skills allows you to reel them in & keep them. This is actually true for a surprising number of people (not just males).

    For a quick hookup:

    Looks (so long as the guy's not a complete a$$, which works against you no matter what).

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    • no social skills hook them in quicker because you are giving them attention and letting them know your intentions.

    • 'He came up and told me he liked me yesterday. Yeah, the guy was mediocre in the looks department, and his weird reactions to the things I said and inability to carry on a conversation was great.'

      Is this really how you think it works?

    • I think you misinterpreted what I said. I didn't say no social skills hook them in. What I meant was no to your statement that looks are what hook them in and meant social skills are what hook them in.

  • Social skills. I won't date a guy who doesn't have any friends or has bad relationships with his mates.

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  • Your physical appearance isn't the thing for success. That shouldn't be a majority why the guy likes you or why it works out. There could be the prettiest girl in the world but without social skills her relationships wouldn't work. Social skills is probably it.

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  • Social skills.

    You'd be surprised at how big a difference charisma and good humour makes. It makes a guy instantly more attractive.

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  • Looks affect meeting people who would want to date you more, but social skills affect the relationship in the long run. Looks don't matter when someone is a gentleman.

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  • Social skills defo! I've met hot guys and they just stand there like hot girls waiting to be approached, looking mean and moody, acting like a retard is not attractive.

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    • so if they have bad social skills you assume they are retarded instead of just shy or something?

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    • but if hot girls do that then it's fine?

  • Good looks and being sociable means a lot to women so there def needs to be a bit of that going on.

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  • Looks my reel the ladies in but it keeps them for a short time, ladies like to talk and if their man is Whitty and clever it makes for a better relationship :) good luck

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  • I think both are.

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  • a mixture of both

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  • Social skills. You don't stay in relationships looking pretty.

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  • social skills

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  • Social skills

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  • social skills for sure

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  • Looks. Don't listen to anyone else.

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    • well everyone always tells me I'm good looking and I've never had a girlfriend lol.

  • Both is better of course, but if I had to pick one, social skills. I'd rather date a nice guy who's easy to talk to but maybe not traditionally handsome, than a hot guy who's really arrogant or rude or awkward.

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  • social skills!

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  • Barring looking hideous - social skills.

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What Guys Said 10

  • A lot of girls will "invent" great qualities in you (he's so funny, he really cares about me, he has such a warmth and kindness about him, etc.) if they already like you for your looks, in order to justify and rationalize (to themselves mostly) getting together with you.

    Average to slightly better looks or personality will get you nowhere at all because guys in the top 5-10% "take care of" most of the girls. If you have looks or personality in the top 5% it does not matter which it is - you are essentially unstoppable.

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  • Social skills. Unless you're in the top or bottom 15% or so in looks, in which case that might dominate.

    For most guys though, being above average social skills with below average looks would get more success then the opposite.

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  • when it comes to online dating I believe looks and physical attraction matter more than they do in person, but I would feel social skills are probably the biggest thing sex girls expect the guy to initiate the approach and conversation and break the ice

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  • Guys who have a (really) good game and look decent or average get more chicks than good looking guys with no game. Hands down.

    But the average person doesn't know that...

    However it might be different for online dating.

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  • It's absolutely social skills...that matters a lot more than phyiscal looks do for men.

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  • I think you need a good medium but looks are more important IMO.

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  • I'm pretty straight forward and have tons of "succes"

    social skills is everything

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  • they all lie , theyll all choose "hot " anti social guy than "Average" social guy

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    • nah that's not true trust me.

  • Social skills. They want lots of women to desire you and then they want to be the one girl your with. They want guys that are desired by other girls

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  • Social skills.

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