Ages DOES matter .. apparently..?

He's 5 years younger than me. We had a date planned for tomorrow and talked a lot in the last week, every day couple of hours. We have the same goals, and even share the same dream, which is crazy to me! He's damn gorgeous and I started getting really excited about this.. until I told him about my age. Well, I don't feel 30 and I certainly don't look like even 25 so I really don't get it.

He apologized, but canceled our date. Says my age bothers him .. a lot! WTF that's never happened to me before, and it's not like we're 15 anymore.

I feel ... so angry.

If that bothered him .. he never really liked me, right?

Updates:
He got really surprised when I deleted him on Facebook ... he expected us to just go on chatting all day, and be just friends!

What's the matter with him LOL

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Most Helpful Guy

  • This is one guy. This is this one guy's preference. It doesn't say anything about your attractiveness, how great you are etc.

    You know.. like one girl said below.. he might have lost the love of his life. I have dated a girl I never thought I would fall for. And she flipped my life upside down with joy. She was ill with diabetes.

    What I am trying to tell you here is that even sometimes people have preferences .. sometimes they meet someone and get to know them and they change their opinion totally.

    Another note: you should be happy, you are 30 years old and you look younger than your age. You have more chances of men trying to get to know you . And if you have a nice smile and a kind and fun character.. you will charm them no problem ;)

    All the best my lady !

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    • Thank you for your sweet answer. You're right.

      The painful part is I know if we did meet, it would be awesome.. :\

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    • hehe I support your view. I do not believe in the "one" or the "soul mate" approach..

    • Great answer!

What Guys Said 12

  • He was a d***. At your perspective ages, 25 and 30, it should not have been a big deal at all. Find someone mature enough to handle it, he doesn't necessarily have to be older, just mature.

    Age does matter, it's a question of the how great the age gap is and the age of the younger person. For example, if one is 38 and the other 29, no big deal. But if one is 54 and the other is 17, that's just wrong. It's also a factor in what you want to do. Example: If all you want is just a one-night fling, then the age gap can be quite flexible for discreet encounters. But if you want to get married, then one should find a partner closer to their age for compatibility. Think about it: Can a forty+ person relate with a person barely 21? The younger person wants to dance, bar-hop and get crazy while the other person has more practical ideas. Also, the generation gap leaves communication and fashion problems for anything more than just a sex-fling.

    It is regrettable that you live so far away. I could love a woman your age very much ;)

    Don't feel bad. I'm in college surrounded by a lot of young hotties ages 18-24 with a very small number of grad students. The worst is all the professors won't touch me even though I am older than many of them. I know full well they are not interested in me and I'm old enough to be their fathers, but the eye candy...and my Sex-Drive-From-Hell, is just overwhelming. Really sucks dead camel snot!

    What the hell. I bet you are a hottie ;). Wish the best for you

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  • -_- Wake up! The clock is ticking...

    You've figured it out the hard way haven't you. Not to mock you or anything it's just that. This is the equalizer moment between men and women. Guys get rejected massively in their teenage and early twenties to later dominate in their 30s and 40s. For women it's the reverse, they get their sexual prime earlier just to later fall to the ground.

    They don't call it MID-Life Crisis for nothing you know.

    ^_^ I can't wait to get older.

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    • That's bitter and mean. :(

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    • Meedo: Although my comments seem very harsh. I believe "Thug Love" to be an excellent means to make people wake up from their passive aggresive attitudes. Frankly, It doesn't affect me one bit if she (question asker's) doesn't reproduce. It's because I want her to succeed at getting at least an offspring to the next generation that I'm being so harsh. Yes it's hard to choose and stick to your choice, but if you just delay, and delay, and delay. Life passes and fertility drops. That's life.

    • That Is why age matters so much. It guarantees the survival of the offspring, You wanted the science version, you got it.

  • -_- she's angry that's why she thinks it's laughable to delete people on Facebook.

    Deleting people on Facebook because you don't have the same views it's OK, but to delete someone just because you didn't get the date. That's childish.

    Rejection is never an easy topic. ^_^ I know how it feels, don't worry about it you'll live to date another day.

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    • So it's not okay to delete someone you feel you won't cross paths with again?

    • Exactly. ^_^ you need to have 1000 friends if you don't then you're a loser. lol, how else can you friend Zone him. hahahahaha

    • LoL I didn't expect you to go on trolling. I'd try and explain why I deleted him but you wouldn't get it so it's plain waste of time.

  • "Update: He got really surprised when I deleted him on Facebook ... he expected us to just go on chatting all day, and be just friends!

    What's the matter with him LOL "

    Just because he dosnt see you as a partner option, why is it laugheble for him to think of staying freinds.

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    • He doesn't give me the opportunity to move on. He likes all my posts and pictures and his awesome smile is always there.. can't really move on like that. It's inconsiderate. Of him.

    • aww so try an expalne it to him, the same way you jsut did to me

    • I did... he knows exactly how I feel.

  • Truth is love has no limit on age nor physical appearance. Of course some sort of attractiveness. Love has no fear, love is kind, love has hope and not easily angered. When someone treats you with disrespect in this case reject you for your age be their friend don't let them go. You never know he may change his mind about you. But instead of trying to getting him to like you, be kind and sincere to him. Be there for him try not to let the rejection get the best of you and let it hurt you. Yes move on, because you are still waiting for that guy that will treat you like a princess and cherish you, but don't let people go of those who reject you. Showing love is what bond people together and is perfected in it. Show your love to anyone and everyone those who do you wrong and treat you right and in due time they'll accept you. But if he doesn't want to be your friend then at least you tried.

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  • There are women here who will only date within a specific range. So it goes both ways. Just have to deal with it and move on.

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  • in most cases, guys date same age girls or younger, and mostly it dosnt work the other way around

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  • It's not the age that matters. It's the things that usually come with age that matter - experience, your physical body getting aged biologically, your emotions, thoughts and lots of other things you can't even begin to imagine.

    Age is usually a pretty good indicator of things like that.

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  • A lot of guys won't date older women. I'm 33 and I won't date a 38 year old. It's just our preference. I'm not mature enough for a 38 year old anyways.

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  • maybe he is insecure?

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    • Insecure? I thought maybe fearful.. But could be ..

  • He lied. It was about something else. No one cares about 5 years or almost no one.

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  • People can seem fickle/superficial/etc at times. All you have to do is pick yourself up. I've had girls suddenly ignore me too, usually without giving me a reason, LOL.

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    • So it's happened to you too? DAMN! I thought I was the only unlucky guy in the world.

    • Yeah .. At least I'm not hurt or anything.. bad thing is I REALLY liked him.. oh well .. gotta get used to that I guess.. from now on :\

    • I wish people just gave a flat-out reason. This has happened to me with guys too. If a guy isn't working for me, I will tell him nicely instead of ignoring him callously.

What Girls Said 8

  • He's crazy, if you look younger than you are, and you really clicked personality and chemistry-wise. I want to date someone older because of matched maturity levels, but Idk.

    Did he want kids or something?

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    • He said he's looking for stability and family and that he'd like kids in the future.

      I made a joke about not being ready for kids yet.. maybe it's that.. although :\ we hadn't even been out on a date, can't really cut someone off based on that that early..

    • Meh, you dodged a bullet. I will dump a guy early on if he wants kids because I don't want any. One guy (who was being a jerk in other ways too) tried to convince me to stay with him because he was "50/50" on the kids issue. Ummm no.

  • well at least you know the truth than never.

    move on and someone better will come along for sure. Don't waste your time being angry about it.

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  • It matters to some, not to others. He could have just cancelled a date with the potential love of his life, his loss, not yours.

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    • Yep. :) My thoughts exactly. Thank you, I needed to hear that :)

  • He's immature. Find someone better.

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  • If he really liked you the age wouldn't matter. Forget about that a**hole. Find yourself a real man.

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    • LOL what's a real man? I'm not saying this guy was prince charming by any means, matter of fact I think he's an idiot but whenever a girl uses the expressions "real man" I wonder what she means...

    • lol. OK. I didn't actually have any set definition of a ''real man'' in mind. I just mean, find someone who really pays attention to not thinking so much about age if it's really not a big deal, someone, who's just focused on getting to know you and have some actual fun. Someone with whom things can actually work out. Not someone who leads you on and than caps out at the last minute.

  • he could have definitely liked you before, but some people, including me, have a thing with age. I could totally being having a good time with a guy and be really attracted to him and have a good flow going, but if I were to suddenly find out he was younger me, those feelings would stop immediately. its just a thing that happens, don't know why, it just does. its probably the same for him. moreover, since you are five years older you most likely are more successful than him and he could see that as some sort of threat to his masculinity, but I'm just throwing out ideas here. the main point is, you can't really change his mind without sounding like you're begging him to try and date you. just brush it off and look for someone who doesn't put so much emphasis on something so insignificant.

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  • no, it means you just weren't what he is looking for. sorry, but better now than later. in all honesty it is a rather large gap.

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  • U should feel better he left before he hurt u... I had a guy I dated for a week. And then he brought up the age gap (4 years). And then I told him- If it bothers you we don't have to go out. He said- No, its OK. He didn't bring it up anymore... BUT then he invited me to meet his mom (he was the single child and his father had left him and his mother) and then dumped me cause his mom didn't like me. Trust me- you don't need that kind of humiliation. I felt like I (almost a PhD holder) am not good enough for his mom... You need a man, not a baby...

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    • Sorry that happened to you .. Parents can sometimes f*** things up big time. It has happened to me too.. 10 years ago, but still..

      Ah men .. where does one find one :)?

    • Yeah- the big question! I believe they just show up when we least expect.

    • Omg, that is horrible. Forget momma's boys and liars. :(

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