What is her deal, anybody?

So there is this girl who I really like has been giving me signs of interests all alone last year, and then we went on a date a while ago, and ever since that, it has just been ditches and rainchecks, and so I thought, oh well, she's not interested anymore. a few weeks back, a gossiper who went up to her and asked her if she's going out or if she's going to go out with me, pretty much he asked her out for me. she basically got annoyed, and from what I heard, she told the gossiper that she's not going to have dinner with me, she knows I like her and she's been trying to brush me off. the gossiper told me this and I was ready to give up and move on, but a few days after that, she texted me that she really wanna hang out with me but just been busy and so we did set up another dinner, (idk if it was a date or not) and we had that dinner at this fancy restaurant a few days ago. the dinner was fine, I didn't push for a dinner date because I thought she was going to tell me that she's not interested, but she didn't and we had a good time and a long 3 hour chat before it was too late into the night and she started yawning. but ever since that dinner, still, I Haven't heard anything from her.

Now my thing is-

If she's not interested, she could just ignore me and stuff, in fact the dinner date we had a few days ago was really her suggestion that she wanted to hang out, I mean, girls don't just have dinner with another guy at a fancy restaurant just to catch up, do they?

She wanted a dinner, and I kinda suggested for a fancy place and told her if she doesn't want to, this other less fancy place is 10min away anyway. she showed up all dressed up and told me she just knew ill take her to fancy places so she went home and changed (she came after work)

If she just want a casual catch up and is not trying to lead me on or anything, she would have pushed for a less casual, cheesecake factory dinner or the likes. The dinner ended up costing me over 3 digits, not that I am expecting anything from her for that dinner, but I don't think she would just let me pay for the full bill if she's not interested or if she just want me as a casual friend. I do however, think she was expecting or at least knew that I was going to pay for the dinner. (although she probably had no idea that it was going to be so costly)

but if she is really interested, I haven't hear from her for weeks and months prior to this. when I text her, sometimes she wait until the next day to reply, sometimes she doesn't reply until a week later, btu when she replies, she sounded warm. this one time I texted her a simple hey hows going, she waited a week to reply me, but when she replied, she sounded really warm, and she actually texted me again later that day that "We still need to get together soon"

I'm sorry for the long BS above, it's just that I really like her and the way it is going is getting on my nerves.


Most Helpful Girl

  • It really sounds like she's messing with you, she knows you like her and to me it sounds like she's taking advantage of that fact because she knows you'll jump at the chance to spend time with her. Obviously that's kinda manipulative and I don't know if she's that kind of person, but do you think that could be it?

    • I never thought about her being munipuative, but I don't really think so. she's a very nice person, it's just that the things between us are a little more personal now. she is very independent, and she knows what she wants. in term of mind games, it seems like she only play that with me, I don't have the best looking, but out of all the other guy mutual friends, she only does that to me and pretty much ignores the others as far as I know.


Have an opinion?


Send It!

What Girls Said 2

  • Honey I'm going to be honest it sounds like she was just bored and looking for something to do. She wanted to dress up and get taken out to a really nice place. You sound like a very sweet guy and you don't deserve that. If I were you I'd drop her and fast.

    • I appreciate your honesty, yes I thought about her just wanting my attention. After all, we stopped talking for a while and we were basically out of each others' life, but the past weekend when we went out, she was literally busy the entire weekend, on Friday she had an event until 1AM, Saturday she had work until 6, and Sunday she had some other event with an organization. she could easily have ditched me for some legit reason that I would understand.

    • I agree

  • Honestly, be honest with her. It's the worst thing ever to be left out in the dark. I wouldn't really suggest this to anyone in any other cases because its less complex. Be honest with her and she will be with you. You seem strong enough to be able to move on about it so if she doesn't like you you'll be fine. If she does, great! If she doesn't, move on


What Guys Said 2

  • ...wtf you paid for her dinner even though you knew she wasn't interested...kinda looks like she used you to get herself a free meal...I would have gone for the cheap place anyway. She doesn't want you, or else she'd make more of an effort to be in your life more. My thinking is she's using you when she's bored...Don't ever pay a three digit meal for this chick again dude...hell, not even a double digit meal...

    • Well I don't think a free meal is much of a big deal to her, in the end she said she wanted a casual sushi dinner, but I suggested a high end sushi restaurant, and in the end I couldn't get reservation so I took her to this even higher end restaurant.

    • Then YOU are the sucker...if she didn't mind it being a low-end meal, then why the hell did you go to somewhere HIGHER priced? You wanted to impress her? Even if it was the "casual" diner, it was still a free meal for her, right?

  • Sounds like she justs wants attention when she wants it and she got the free meal she wanted too