Is my boyfriend affectionate? Just in a different way?

It really bothers me how after two years he doesn't initiate affection as much. I always have to kiss, hug, cuddle, reach for his hand, etc.

But now I think about it, his "affection" (if you even call it that) involves butt pats, chest grabs, tickling and wrestling. It's more so jokingly or sexually involved, but I like sweet touches and caresses like old times. He says he'll try harder but I don't see a change.

He also only gives me kisses and hugs when we leave or say hi. Or tells me he loves me at goodnight. Never random just routine...


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Tell him you want him to be spontaneous. And if he asks how tell him again, see if he changes. I do understand where you are coming from though, I think he does love you and yes just has a different way of expressing it.

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What Guys Said 2

  • This is normal. It's a natural progression in long-term relationships where spontaneous action doesn't really do it that much. In truth you should take some level of pride in getting to this point but you aren't happy with it so perhaps you should just tell him outright that you don't feel loved or whatever it is and that it's putting stress on you. If he cares, and you're DIRECT, then he will make serious changes to the regimine but at the same time they will feel and be forced so you kind of need to consider if you're willing to take him for who he is. His wrestling with you is indeed affection and while it may not be out of a storybook it's more meaningful because it's actually more, not less, tactile.

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    • I already told him how much it hurt me and he said he'll work on it but I don't see that much of a change lol. I think I have to keep reminding him it kinda sucks.

    • There's communicating and telling. You told him but it didn't get through. I recommend beating him. Either that or curtail his other affections by stating you don't like them. Of course that is probably the best option, rather than saying "I want more kisses" it's "Kiss me instead of fondling my amazing rack!", might work, replacement therapy.

    • I do. He's jut hard headed *sigh*!

  • He's still affectionate.

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What Girls Said 0

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