Try to talk about things or give him space?

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost three years now and have had our ups and downs like most couples do. Due to current living situations and opposite work schedules, we don't get to see each other all that often; it's usually once a week, twice if we are lucky. This has been bothering me a lot lately and I made my frustrations known. He didn't really say much after I let things out, which obviously bothered me a little more; but I didn't push things.

Later that evening, he indicated (not directly to me) that he was on the verge of ending things. I called him to try to talk about it, but after a voice mail and text message, I got no response (he later said he was sleeping). I had told him that if he needed a few days to sort things out, I would give him that, to just let me know.

The next morning when he called, he didn't bring it up and though I wanted to, I was at work and couldn't do so.

This was just a few days ago and we have yet to talk about it (schedule differences complicate this greatly), but I'm extremely confused on what I am supposed to do here. I did see him for a very short time (about an hour) yesterday and he seemed completely normal and even mentioned something we would be doing together 2 months from now. However, he also seems very distant with minimal text and email communication - no phone calls. I feel like he is really unsure on what he wants right now and though I would like to talk about it, I feel like it might push him away even more if I try.

Should I bring it up, or should I give him some space and kind of go along for the ride?


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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 1

  • Wow girl! I love how you've handled the situation. I have to say, your one of a kind. Being communicative, knowing what to say and when to say it, offering space, your intuition is very persistent and strong so now your left with the what is going to happen? What is he thinking? And all of those horrible, confusing questions that seem to make us go crazy in not knowing what's going to happen. I know ha ha frustrating. So what do you do? You've done things well so far and I will say giving him space after even having a lot of space won't work as it usually does, so cross that option, bringing it up? Hmm..nope. Why? Because as you mentioned he seemed yesterday as if untouched by the current situation so don't bring it up, let him as he has, bring it up when he feels like talking about it otherwise it might backfire even though no harm was intended, how about going along for the ride? Excellent choice! Why though? Well because you both feel as if left behind...imagine this...your both left deserted and can't see anything before you but you know, you feel his presence near by, if you were to give him space he will never find you because you'd be sitting down waiting for him to come by but that's the thing he'll never come by because he got lost, instead of meeting halfway (as you are now) you left him stranded. How about bringing it up, well in this scenario its as if you we're next to him bringing up the fact that your both in the middle of nowhere?! And what should we do? I'm thirsty, it's hot, I hate my life, do something, my lips are parched...you get it, it becomes frustrating and he'll run away and would rather get lost. Going along for the ride is way more simpler and intuitive because the communication we'll start, the planning, weighing the options of either to head north east or west and guess what? You would have both survived the turbulence, the mere line of a breakup. If it happens it happens. I highly doubt it though because your relationship is suffering based on life's highs and low's instead of ethical and moral conduct. So what am I saying? Follow your gut, trust those instincts, go along for the ride and whenever possible make him see and feel appreciated and valued because right now his alone and tired (job, no time with you, money, payments, etc.) What's best is that both of you are willing to put the in the effort in maintaining your relationship at top priority.

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