Who Do You Think Has It Harder in the Dating World, Men or Women?

I think it's harder for women (especially today with current popular culture) because we seem to have to prove ourselves to men. We're rated according to how hot we are. It feels as though men are in power and we're here to fulfill his fantasy (with songs like "all I want for my birthday is a big booty ho"). Whereas with men it's not as bad, the image of male hotness isn't perpetuated as much. This is just my opinion, I want to know what other people think.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • LOL you think men don't have to prove themselves?

    If a guy doesn't make the first move, he won't get a girlfriend. Period. If a girl doesn't make the first move, she almost certainly will get a boyfriend. In that sense it's harder for guys surely.

    However, when the relationship gets serious, it probably is harder for women, because in my experience women get emotionally attached more easily and want commitment/marriage/babies more than men do.

    When it comes to looks, I think unless you're totally ugly, it's easier being a girl than a guy. Make-up does wonders. Women have boobs, which always attract men. What is the male equivalent of boobs? There isn't one. Also most people seem to think that the ideal male body is muscular, the sort of body you can't get unless you work out rigorously. I think when it comes to female bodies, there isn't necessarily just one ideal. I think women carry fat better than men do.

    Also men are expected to pay for things lol. And sex is more of a challenge for men because they have to learn how to delay ejaculation, and female orgasms are more complex and more difficult to achieve/understand than male orgasms. Also a woman has more control over fertility than a man does: if she gets pregnant, she can choose to keep the baby (and get money from the father) or to abort.

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    • Also women have higher standards for men's career/income/status/ambition than men do for women's. Also guys are expected to look good without the aid of make-up: imagine if you had pressure to look good but you weren't allowed to use make-up!

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    • want to date because there’s just not enough time. If a girl shows she has something different to offer, that can really help a guy decide. I agree with you that men decide on casual/committed because generally women are more keen to become committed than men are, but surely (as you imply) women decide on sex / initial attraction. Many guys I think would accept a girl just because she isn’t so ugly that make-up can’t fix her and she doesn’t have a monstrous personality. Many guys have no

    • standards beyond that. When was the last time you heard a guy say, “I don’t date girls with no ambition” or “I don’t date girls who aren’t tall” or “I don’t date girls who can’t make me laugh”? In my experience, the only guys who are a little more demanding are the 'player' types, who ironically are usually criticized as being 'shallow'.

What Guys Said 10

  • Guys have it much harder. And that is am unbiased opinion since I try to see it from both sides and understand women. I don't know when to make a move on a girl and when not to...we re expected to make the moves. So, in a guy a girl likes, she wants him to chase her and be aggressive. But the girl that doesn't like the guy, and he tries just reach his hand out to try to talk to her, she goes crazy telling him to leave her alone or tries to call it sexual harassment. Like wouldn't be easier just to tell the guy casually that your not interested and nicely? The guy doesn't know any better. Because he thinks the girl is playing hard to get and he needs to step up his game. But why let a guy keep doing that then let him push you to the breaking point and blow up on him? Then women ignore us both when they like us a lot but also when they are rejecting us, so how are we supposed to know which one it is? It also seems like girls have 5 or so guys always lined up and just picks one to be her boyfriend. When guys struggle to get one girl and she waits for those 5 guys to all ask her out to all reject them except the one that she predetermined. I know girls are mean to each other and have to maintain their looks and well actually do stuff in a relationship. But, it just seems the guy carrys a lot more weight. In a world with equal gender roles nowadays, why can't the guy and girl share the responsibilities of the relationship like 50/50? That would be fair. Like share dominance in the relationship . Some men like a dominant woman some of the time but like to be other times.

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  • It really depends where in the world you live. If you are a man in China born after 1978 (1 child policy), then you are screwed because there are literally _less_ women in your agegroup to even have due to aborting of females.

    If you live in a very feminized state like CA its definitely better to be a woman, and cowboy states like AZ/TX its definitely better to be a man, and I think experiences will differ anywhere you go. No offense to our English mates acrossed the pond, but if you're over there, you're better off moving to China :) Russia? - imo, guys have it better there.

    Munchkins, your question is really relative to place/culture. I don't think there is any one right answer.

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  • Well, I can understand why you think girls have harder time in this "Dating game" but you just don't know the other side. How could you, you are a female, was raised as such, and only can see your side of the court, but I as a guy can honestly tell you that it is not as easy for us guys as you make it seem.

    You said that looks like guys are in power? Well from my point of view it seems the other way around. As for image of male hotness not being perpetuated as much, I can't agree also, because media also made that image of a what guys need to have to be "REAL" men in 21-st century... You need to have some things you can't do anything about, like height or whatever... There is also amazing body with an six-pack (and trust me those are really hard to get), etc...

    So my point in general is that no one has the power. It's hard for girls and guys also, so why wouldn't we just call it a draw...

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  • Women.

    Sorry, but if you think otherwise, you need to get a reality check.

    Can't wait for the down votes.

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  • Nobody got it easier, it's not gender-dependent, what matters is your luck - are you dating someone who's a good match or you keep wasting the time with the wrong people?

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  • This question should go on the ash heap along with "are women attracted to nice guys" and "why do all guys do this"

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  • how do women have to prove themselves to men? they can be passive all they want

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  • Depends on the goal, really. If it's just sex a person is after, women have it way easier. For relationships it's probably even, maybe harder for women because of their hypergamous nature.

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  • i hate it when people say "for every girl that has a boyfriend, that guy has a girlfriend", yes I know that!, duh!, but the guy had to do all or most of the work in order for that to happen, but girls can be passive and they can get a boyfriend but guys can't be passive and expect to get a girlfriend, and there goes more to it than a guy just being assertive and pro-active, the logical way it makes it easier for girls is when you look at it from a shyness/social-anxiety or social-deficiency perspective, obviously shyness, social-anxiety, being a recluse, hermit, is going to hurt guys a thousand, million, billion, trillion times more than girls, the odds are more heavily in a shy, quiet, socially-awkward girls favor to land a date and relationship, sex, than the other way around, and that's not all, a guy has to have more than just assertiveness, good social-skills and conversation-skills, "game", in order to get a girlfriend, he has to have confidence and have an attitude and mindset in which he is extremely comfortable and content and secure with himself in which he doesn't care whether he has a girlfriend or not so his life can be happy, better, he also has to know what he wants to do with his life at an earlier age than girls do, and are expect to act upon it with more pressure than girls, guys have to live on their own or move out of their parents house by a certain age meanwhile girls can live with their parents at pretty much any age and most guys won't care, will overlook that in a girl, girls are allowed to want or need a boyfriend for validation, to feel better about themselves but not vice-versa.

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    • and guys have to have things going for them in their lives, a girl can have little or nothing going for her in her life and still be able to attract guys, a girl can have no life and still get a boyfriend but if a guy doesn't have a life he won't get a girlfriend

  • probably guys. Guys have to do all of the asking out and basically everything,

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What Girls Said 2

  • I think guys are being constantly being sent mixed messages and confused, to in the end not know what the hell they are suppose to do to get a girl. So they become "shy", "nice", jerks", "players" or any other stereotype they think will get them laid. They have to be successful, strong but not controlling, nice, but not doormats, sensitive but not too emotional, etc. It's a problem if they are ugly too. Plus the dating ceremony is a huge kick in the wallet in an economy, in which most of young men earn less than most young women.

    Then we have bitches who interpret flirting as sexual harassment if they don't like the guy hitting on her.

    Now we look at girls. Yeah it's a lot of pressure, but we have only one problem. Our looks.

    Now to if we are shy, we don't loose the chance of ever getting a guy.

    While guys have the chance of bypassing the looks with power and still be attractive, we don't. So if we are really ugly we can pretty much kiss hope goodbye.

    So all in all, guys have it worse.

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    • Yeah all true but only one thing. Not all guys goals are to get laid. Some of us actually want relationships and a girl to care abiut . Its even harder on a guy like me than just the guy who wants to get laid. I don't act nice just to get laid. I act nice because I want to show my potential value as a boyfriend.

    • Best Thought Out answer is here. Interesting viewpoint, kia58.

    • asdaven, by getting laid, I meant "ultimately getting laid". That can mean both trying to get a one night stand, or a girl you'll sleep with later, at some point in your relationship.

  • Guys.

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