So, I started talking to this guy on Apr 23rd to be exact and I have never dated anything like him race wise so from the beginning I was really hesitant as to what I would mess up culturally or not understand. It turned out he definitely has a different mind set culture wise when it came to women. He treated them with respect and was very proactive in making sure I was happy. He said that he had strong feelings for me after 2 dates and that he wanted me to be his girlfriend, 2weeks into of us officially talking/dating. Being treated like crap in comparison I felt it was rushed but okay because he was nice, proactive, and a Marine for over 7 years. I was told when I consulted with my friends that military guys move fast so, I went with it. As we began to talk we developed a pattern of late night chats. He said that was a twin and used to have problems with girls because they would think it was his brother, when it was him. His twin died in combat in war at some point in time. He then told me a story about how he was once married but his wife and only child died in a car accident. He at a point in time was a cop. Then he served in the war twice and got 4 purple hearts. He knows multiple languages, travels for work, and has military survival expertise. All sounding really appealing until one day I decided to just google his name. Up came arrests for fraud, LARCENY and forgery. I did ask him one day if he had a criminal record and he told me no, but there may be something on his record for fighting in which he had a heroic reason for his action. He claimed that it was his brother, then his cousin, then the story sounded to me like a quick lie and not like a confession of shame or truth. I then was thinking, what else was a lie. I began to look through the purple heart registry and his name did not come up, I searched through public record marriage licences with his and his wife's name, and checked public records death certificates.
No results found.
At this point I thought maybe he is trying to change and then I had another thought. Maybe he's just a liar, this is him, and he's afraid that I won't like the real him which is why he wanted me to be his girlfriend first and build and emotional threshold. I quickly then checked the states criminal records and found a charge for burglary that was dropped and abandoned. Then loitering that was not, not guilty but " NOLLE PROSSED" .. I am not a laywer, Ugh , this guy calls every night to check in but I'm torn and am ignoring his call until I can get courage to break up with. I am not sure if he's clearly a liar and I should run or I am I being neurotic.
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First of all this is pretty much a no brainer. The relationship was rushed, built on a series of built in lies in case you caught on to him. Of all the things you DID find out about him through google, just imagine the things that could be tied into his name that weren't made so public by the court system.
It's funny how so many people close to him conveniently "died." Twin brother (did you even check his birth certificate because multiple birth will be noted if he is indeed a twin, triplet or one of more multiple births.) A wife and child, no death certificates found.
Basically he most likely figured out from jump you weren't the type to go for convicted felons (generally neither does the military) so instead of coming clean and letting you decide up front if you were willing to overlook these issues he created this elaborate web of lies as escape routes in the event he got caught in them.
If he so strongly states that it's these "other" people and not him, why hasn't he taken necessary steps to clear his name? Because there mot likely is no twin brother and maybe even if separated there's no divorce.
I am not saying that people don't change, but generally, when people do decide to change for the better, they tend to incorporate a lot more honesty in their lives. Personally I would be more respectful of the person who sat me down, came clean and said "listen, I've made some mistakes in my past, but that's not who I am today." as opposed to "hey I have a twin and/or cousin who did these things, but my twin is dead now dead now as well as my spouse and child, also dead now as well." I'm not saying that them coming clean would be enough to get me to look the other way and proceed into a relationship, but I definitely would appreciate and respect the honesty as well as the option to have the information out front to consider.
Just the mere fact that he lied about so many things would be enough for me to already have the strength to toss the towel in on this one. I mean really, he's lied about so much already. With that amount of lies already caught in it's probably easier to count the things he's told the truth about. You definitely can do better than him and since relationships are built on trust, I really don't see a relationship here at all.0