My boyfriend and I have been dating for 3 years now. Our Families have not met. HELP!

We are both 24 years old and about to graduate college very soon. And our families have not met. I have told him and my mom has told him that we should organize a family meet. However, Its never a good time to meet because his mother has a lot going on in her life, According to him. She's a single mother and he supports her at times. I Barely pressure him about it because I feel its his duty to be man enough to make this happen.

Is this a huge red flag of his lack to commitment to me?

I sometimes feel that he is unsure that I am that he wants to be with.

Updates:
Both our families live in the same city.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Lack of commitment? No. I don't see why that would mean that at all. Listen, your family isn't the same as his. You're dating him, not his family, and he's dating you, not your family. You meeting his parents IS important. Him meeting yours IS important. But both families meeting each other ISN'T. Both families didn't choose to date each other. They probably have little interest in each other. It might me important to you, I know, but remember that his mom's world doesn't revolve around you. If she's going through a rough time, you're probably the last thing on her mind and letting her space to settle things. THIS is more important that your relationship with her son. It's her life. Do you really think she's that excited to get together with your family when she thinks she's a mess?

    And about "his duty to be man enough to make this happen", I think it's bullsh*t. If making it happen requires he FORCES him mom on and on to agree to something she doesn't want to do, I don't see it as being "man enough". You seem to forget that it's mostly important to you, not his mom, and you're putting on this guy's shoulder the responsibility to make it happen, even if it means going against someone else's wish. That's pretty selfish IMO.

    I completely understand why it's important to you. But forget about the commitment correlation. IMO, she'd be doing your boyfriend, not you, a favour by agreeing to this meet. And if she doesn't feel like it, it doesn't mean that your boyfriend isn't committing to you, it just means that it's not passing through between your boyfriend and his mom. You guys chose to be with each other. Your respective families DID NOT. Never forget that. It ain't your bf's duty to force that choice upon his mom. If she wants to stay away from your relationship, it's HER CHOICE. Let her be.

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What Guys Said 4



  • If you have been asking for a year, its a red flag.

    If you asked last week and found out his mom is booked for the whole month -- that's probably normal.

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  • ignore your mom its you and him who have to decide what kind of life you are going to create. families are a burden to some people.

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  • It's not a huge red flag, it's just that life situation is not good at the moment.

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  • I guess people are different. It would never even occur to me to arrange a meeting between families. I don't think anyone in my family would even want to. I don't think the families of anyone I dated would care about it either.

    You see it as a lack of commitment, and I can't figure out how it has anything to do with commitment. It sounds like you are assuming that he thinks the same way you would. I don't think you can make that assumption and conclude anything from his lack of enthusiasm.

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What Girls Said 0

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