Why do so many people "serial date", instead of dating one person at a time?

NOTE: I'm not talking about monogamous relationships here; I'm talking about the beginning phases of the dating process here

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For both genders, this "serial dating" thing seems to be more common than it used to be.

Why do you (or other people that you know) date multiple people at a time, instead of dating one person at a time and focusing on that one person?

Be as detailed as you wish in your answer; thanks for fueling my curiosity. 8-)

  • I date multiple people at once
    17% (2)17% (2)17% (4)Vote
  • I only date one person at a time
    83% (10)83% (10)83% (20)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Girl

  • This rarely happens to me, but it's to get to know each person out on a coffee/dinner date and not rush into anything. Then you choose who you like best by process of elimination. This has happened to me once with online dating; I went on a coffee date with one guy (didn't click for either of us but he was nice) then went to a school club event with another guy I was getting to know. I told the first guy when I chose the other guy, which happened before we could do another date. Mind you, nobody promised exclusivity to the other.

    Personally, I prefer dating one person at a time, because two or more can be confusing. I might end up settling for one guy because he seems a little better than the other one, but not because he's right for me. Sadly, the market for potential mates in my area is scarce, and it's hard to find someone of good quality, so I would serial date again if I had to.

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    • I should clarify that pretty much every other time, I only have one prospect available, and then can focus better on that one person. If there's any semblance of a relationship/exclusivity, nobody else is in the picture.

What Girls Said 7

  • Power play. It makes their lives interesting. They think that they are Machiavellis, plotting and scheming: who meet and when, how to hide the fact that I am meeting several people, who to dump and so on. It adds thrill to their lives and they feel needed. Also, they receive a lot of attention. It's like being a celebrity - a lot of people know/meet/care/think about you.

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  • I am also referring to the beginning phase where you are figuring out if you really want to get to know this person or not. I do it because if I am dating just one person and he turns out to be a douche or just not compatible and we often times end up not compatible then I have potentially lost out on an opportunity to be with someone who is compatible. Maybe even the one I spend the rest of my life with.

    As a girlfriend I am loyal but I don't take dating seriously as there are so many options but most are not suitable and the only way to find out who is suitable and who is not, is to go on dates with them.

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  • I date multiple people, because it keeps me from getting attached. I won't take them seriously lol it's something different from what I use to do and it allows me to have more fun. Now, I know it sounds messed up, but here me out. On a date, I'll opt out for expensive places and items, because I don't want him to feel totally cheated. I also abstain from sex... I'm dating just for fun lol it's actually a good way to get over recent heart breaks and a good way to experience different types ofguys to know what you like :)

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  • dating one person is healthier

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  • I prefer to serial date because it's fun. I like getting to know different guys and having variety. I'm not going to date one guy at a time unless I'm in a relationship with him, I see no point in acting like I'm committed if I'm not in a relationship. If I'm only gonna date one guy at a time then he might as well be my boyfriend. It's better to keep your options open that way you have a better chance at finding what you really want. That being said, I do not have sex outside of relationships. If he is not my boyfriend we are not having sex or oral sex

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  • Multiple dating is simpler.

    Dating a single person means focusing on them solely. My time and emotions are tied to them and just them. I tend to get more attached to a guy. Feelings develop and I start dreaming of the future with just us. Majorly annoying if/when the guy decides that he doesn't quite feel the same way about me.

    Multiple dating is better cause it keeps me from getting too attached to a guy.

    Defense mechanism...I don't get hurt plus I have fun. Its nice to have a circle of guys that like you and that you like. Plus its a good way of forming friendships with some guys...

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  • I know a lot of girls do that to weigh out their options.

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What Guys Said 5

  • Serial would be ... one at a time.

    But as for dating multiple people before settling on one person, that used to be how dating worked back in my parents day. It fell out of favor, and is now back in favor.

    My best guess?

    In my parents day, dating didn't involve sex, so 'going on dates' with a bunch of people was not a big deal.

    That was followed by the 'free love' era.

    I hit my teenage years during the AIDS scare. Kids did not respond to it by becoming celibate, rather there was a drop in -casual- sex. So basically if you were a guy, you didn't want to 'date'. You wanted a monogamous STD free girlfriend to have sex with.

    In the last 15 years or so, STD fears seem to have gone down substantially among young people, and they are now moving back to 'sex first then maybe date'.

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    • I don't like the "sex before exclusivity" or "sex after __ dates" thing. One guy tried to guilt me into having sex because he said "most people have sex on the third date." I'm like "errmmmm NO."

    • There's a fine line between "trying to guilt people into things" and "clearly stating what you want in a relationship, which may make them feel pressured to live up to it if they want to maintain the relationship". I'm not suggesting which side of the line he was on, and it doesn't matter. But people should be free to express what they want, and other people can adapt to that or not, as they wish. We shouldn't try to -use- guilt, but other people own their own feelings.

  • maybe online dating sites have made it easier for people to find multiple dating partners ? I don't know that's what came to mind when I though of the question .

    but to be honest I don't see many young people dating , I notice a lot of people around here seem to fit into 2 categories - allready in a serious long term relationship or permanently single , I honestly don't see a lot of people going on dates or see a lot of singles trying so called casual dates anymore . I don't know young people seem to have lost interest in dating and more interested in finding a long term relationship but they have forgot that to find a serious relationship you often have to date a few different people before something works out

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  • F*** if I know, I think it's just because it's what's considered "normal" now and everyone tries to fit in and be "normal."

    It's immature imo.

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  • cause its stupid to put all your eggs in one basket.. there's no way you'll meet someone you're totally compatible if you jump into something real fast

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  • That trend didn't come to Turkey, yet. It's not common to date multiple at once.

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