Meet someone new, find reasons why I shouldn't date them?

I've noticed a pattern developing whenever I meet a new guy. I'll start getting to know him and even if it's going great and I like the guy, I always start finding reasons about why I shouldn't pursue the relationship/why it wouldn't work and just being generally doubtful. I don't know why I do it but I'm wondering if anyone else does this or if anyone can give me advice as to how to get out of this habit?!


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Clearly your not ready to date someone else.

    You need to take your time, and figure out what you want. The reason as to why your not going for it, aka "the big leap" Is because you don't see all the way into the future with them.

    I do the samething you do. I need that solid vision to properly be with someone, someone I can see myself waking upto everyday, and looks promising. Aka having a family, and knowing their family will love me, as much as my family will love them.

    Just take your time. Don't rush, the right person will come along.

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    • Maybe you're right, I hope I'm one of those people who doesn't serial date and just one day meets the right one because it's happened with every guy so far. I think I think too much... haha! Thanks!

    • Just take your time, chill out. You will know when he comes along. :)

What Guys Said 2

  • Maybe it's not a bad habit. Maybe you're just being sensible.

    Dating is still about becomoing someone's exclusive property, especially for you girls, and maybe you just are too young to tie yourself down that way. And maybe you aren't into becoming someone's property.

    Personally, I opted out of the traditional dating game in my teens, because I found myself thinking much like you at that time. And I've never regretted that.

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    • I think it's a combination of the things you pointed out.. I am only 20 for that matter. And I've always been fine on my own but the pressure mounts when my whole posse of friends are in relationships and I feel that I'm missing out on something. But as soon as someone comes along, I suddenly remember how commitment freaks me out haha. I guess I'm just one of those people who won't invest the time unless I see long term...

    • Long term is the only sensible way to orient your life, imao. Good luck and don't worry, there are a lot of people looking for a different way to meet their sig. other...

  • try to let go off the first, lets say 5, bad things that you don't like about a guy? think you can do that?

    or think about all the bad qualities that you have, you can't be perfect, and let go of the same number of bad stuff the guy you date has?.,

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What Girls Said 1

  • I do this with almost every guy I have ever dated, talked to ect. Have you had your heart broken? Once? Maybe even twice? Three times? That's why I do it. MY heart was shattered and as soon as I find myself interested I start searching for things that I don't like, that way I leave early and I don't get hurt. The only way you can really stop is discover why you are doing it, so that you can address the root of the problem. I know for myself that I can't let past relationships get in the way of new ones, so I remind myself that.

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    • I haven't had my heart broken, I got screwed around a lot with one guy in particular and I guess that situation reminds me of why I don't want to go down the same path I went down with him. But being the one to be hurt does scare me, I hate the feeling of being vulnerable and being the victim.

    • well sounds like you know why you do it. I guess sometimes you have to let yourself be vulnerable to experience something that is truly amazing!

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