If I were to get back in the dating game (I haven't talked or approached a woman in 3 years). I would want her to be attractive with a nice personality, she can't smoke or drink, no kids, no male friends, and no crazy exes. Those are my standards, and I won't settle or change them until I find the woman I described. Are my standards way too high?
Most Helpful Guy
I don't think that your standards are too high provided you can give her the same as what you are seeking from her. You know, be attractive, have a nice personality, no smoking or drinking, no kids, and no female friends or crazy exes.
Realistically, if you were to get back into the dating game, just be prepared to be single for quite a long time. While some females don't smoke, a good percentage do drink socially, which will take them out of the running. Of those who don't smoke or drink, some will have a child, which will drop your selection even further. Few will have a crazy ex, which will drop the selection a little more. The biggest hit will be the no male friends, simply for the fact that if they're dating, they will run across males, some of which didn't make their cut for an "intimate" relationship but they do like them as friends. Not to mention, some females will have childhood or long term male friends.
I think the real key to what you should seek should be the character of the woman and how she carries herself. Many women who do have male friends do not actually sleep with them. Perhaps your focus should be how she interacts with her male friends. If she appears to want to isolate them from you, spend time with them in a more personal setting, then yes, that's a red flag. However, if she incorporates you in every aspect of her life, including only associating with her male friends in public settings with you present, then realistically, I don't think you would have much to worry about.
Too impose such rigorous standards is actually doing yourself more of a disservice than her because it EXTREMELY limits your options.1