How do I know if he is serious about me or not?

I've been dating my boyfriend for over 3 years. We are both very busy, and we are both full-time single parents. Finding time together is hard, but we manage to squeeze in family time and alone time a couple of days a month.

A few months ago I questioned his commitment. I will be making some major life changes soon and asked if I should include him in those. He said he is not ready to marry me at this time, but that he has not ruled it out as a possibility.

When we see each other, I am often left feeling unfulfilled because I have to go home or he has to go home. Intimately, we are well matched, but it has almost become a case of him coming to see me for a few hours of sex, some lunch, then he has to leave. I don't think he is cheating, although I have felt that this was the case in the past. He was sure to tell me the last time I saw him that I am his only woman, etc, but I have to wonder why he even brought it up.

He's 12 years older than I am, and he was married for 18 years. I think he is still hurt from his divorce and can't see himself with someone else, but I wonder if he is just using me to pass the time. He does nice things for me, and he is very respectful. However, he does break dates frequently, and he seems to never be able to commit to seeing me until the last minute. He's a serious academic, and I don't see him as the womanizing type. We live an hour from each other, so I would never know if he was seeing someone else or not. I've met his kids and family and spend time with them frequently. He's never said he loves me, but he shows me he cares. I just don't know what to do. If I stay with him, I'm worried that he will just continue to be non-committal, and then I will be over 40 without other prospects.


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What Guys Said 1

  • He's 12 years older than you. You don't think he's worried about losing you, and being in his 50's with no prospects?

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