Suggestive texting... should I be as upset as I am?

Before Christmas I noticed my fiance was texting a lot in my presence. One night he was answering someone late at night and was saying sweet dreams... I noticed a pattern every night that this would happen. 8 am every morning his phone would beep with hello. I had been away for 2 months and wondered if I was just being jealous or if there was more to it. I read his Facebook msgs when he was gone to work one day and read a lot of suggestive flirting (there was a bet where he'd get a kiss, "how about I wash you in the shower," "You should come join me in the bath... I'll have a beer with you then ;)" etc.) And not with the girl I saw the texts from. I confronted him about the msgs and said I was uncomfortable with suggestive flirting and to me it is emotional cheating. Friendly flirting is okay. He promised to stop and that was great.

Not long after, the girl I saw the texts from tried to convince him not to marry me. He never gave in and everything was great.

So then I have to leave fore 2 months again (I am back home no for good). I noticed that on Skype he was always typing or texting others which annoyed me a bit. The odd message is okay but every 2 min is excessive. I casually asked who he was talking to one night and he said one of his guy friends. and said he was heading out to the mall and meeting the guy friend to see a movie. I called not long after to talk while he drove to the mall and he wasn't diving. I asked where he was and he admitted he was at a girls house drinking tea (and it is true he was only drinking tea with her and her roommates). But I was sad he lied to me about it and I asked why? He said because he was afraid I'd be jealous of him hanging with other girls. I told him I'm not I just didn't lie suggestive sexual flirting. Friendly flirting and having girl friends is perfectly fine. I have guy friends.

However did feel more uneasy after this. My first night and morning home I started noticing the same buzzing patterns of midnight sweet dreams and morning hellos from the breaking up our marriage girl. When I asked if he talked to her much he said no. When I asked if he had seen her at all while I was gone he said no. So I asked to read his messages from her. here's a glimpse of the things I read: o a wet NAME you are making my imagination go wild... and what if I tie you down in the bed?.. o your into leather straps?... I'm not so innocent you know NAME ... You should come with me. Will there be cuddling?.. its a requirement.. I'll keep you warm all night... And what if I don't cuddle? O I'll be keepng you warm in other ways you won't be sleeping. Every day for 2 months there was a history of texts. all day and all night. I even noticed times he'd message or text her before me and talk to her while not talking to me. He went to dinner at her house one night, met her for coffee one day, and saw her at gym they work out in while I was gone. He again promised to never do it again. I have confirmed no physical cheating was involved

Updates:
Her family is a family friend of his. They do know each other from the past.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • This sounds a bit sketchy...i would confront him about this in a calm way

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    • The first time I confronted him he promised to stop (before Christmas). The second time (most recent) I confronted him again. He promised again to stop and had no answer as to why he kept doing it or whyit increased when this girl confessed her love for him.

    • Even more sketchy, you should eventually breakup with him.

What Guys Said 1

  • This is really shady in nature. Talk this out with him.

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    • The first time I confronted him he promised to stop (before Christmas). The second time (most recent) I confronted him again. He promised again to stop and had no answer as to why he kept doing it or whyit increased when this girl confessed her love for him.

What Girls Said 1

  • That sounds super suspicious and if he isn't cheating that's beyond disrespectful to you.

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