Will He Ever Forgive Me?

My fiance and I have been together for four, wonderful years. We had an amazing relationship, and we were the best of friends. We were always together, and always laughing and spending as much time as could together. Over time (two years?), I had got caught-up in online shopping. It got so out-of-control early this year, that I got desperate for money, and did the worst thing that I can even imagine - I took a loan out against the most valuable piece of jewelry that I owned - my engagement ring. I wasn't thinking. I was so consumed with my online debt, that I went to this ridiculous measure. I never intended on losing/selling the ring. Despite what he thinks, that ring is the most wonderful piece of jewelry I've ever owned. Anyhow, I lied to him about the whereabouts of the ring for a few months. When I felt like I just couldn't lie to him anymore, I finally came clean and told him what I had done. Obviously, he was filled with anger and distrust. I was able to get the ring back, but my fiance is so mad at me, that he can't even talk to me. He kicked me out of our beautiful new house that we had picked out together, and just doesn't seem to want to give me another chance. He considers us broken up in his mind. I've sought counseling and help, and have made huge strides in the not-shopping area. I've worked on so many things these past few weeks to better myself financially, and know that I'm a better person for all of this - my shopping habits have completely ceased. However, it took me losing him to shape-up and make the changes that I needed to make. This part hurts so much. All I want is for him to give me another chance to show him that I can be trusted again, that I can make him happy again, and that we can still be the couple that we've always been. I know that what we had was very, very special and rare. I just can't imagine two people more perfect for each other than we were. Will he ever come back to me? Can I be forgiven? :(

Updates:
He took me back, and gave me another chance! I'm ever-so grateful, to say the least. Hopefully, this difficult experience will make us stronger than ever :)

Thanks, everyone, for all of your input!


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What Guys Said 1

  • I don't know how shocked/stubborn he is, but if he can see clearly that your over-shopping was only a fling, a stupidity you regret, a "once in a lifetime misstep", he should be able to get over it and forgive you (unless it brought bad childhood souvenirs from over-shopping by someone else to the surface of his mind)

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    • The wounds are still fairly fresh. The worst part about this, is that he's the baby, and his parents are completely against me now. I have a feeling that he's too concerned about what they think now. With that said, I sent them an apology e-mail, and will be mailing them a letter, apologizing. I just can't believe that he couldn't learn to forgive me. ESPECIALLY, if I show him the progress I've been making. I was so co-dependent on him for so long, and am now left to make it on my own.

What Girls Said 1

  • If you really have changed your ways he needs to see that. Once he does he should be able to forgive you. It will take time, because trust is a really really hard thing to rebuild.

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    • I just don't know how to show him, if he doesn't give me a chance :( He might be checking my bank account, but I don't know for sure. He has my log-in. I have to make my car payment in a week and a half (this is the first time) so hopefully, when he sees that I'm not spending my entire paychecks on myself, and am paying my bills on-time, he'll see exactly how serious I am about making healthy changes. I'm so ready to shape-up, and get out of debt. I just wish I learned my lesson earlier :(

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