Hey, first time poster.
I am going through a struggle recently. I am trying to figure out how to get out of my shell and be a little more personable. But here is the problem: if I open up, I tend to talk too much and don't empathise that well with people in my age bracket. I try to talk to girls, but anytime I try and be "myself", I tend to be bland and ust ask questions about her. And usually, she gets bored. I am getting frustrated, because I was never went to a physical school, and college is little help. I am trying to get involved in my town, but there is little to do. I am trying my best to improve myself, but I fall short. And I try and not think about it, but I keep getting nagging feelings about it, which won't go away. I don't want to be desperate, but it seems if I don't do something, my chances will dwindle. But at the same time, I must wait. Who made these dumbsh*t laws? So I guess my metaquestion is what do you think I could do to improve myself? And how do you react to people such as myself? In any case, I appreciate the feedback.
Most Helpful Girl
Hey... I actually use to work with kids who were middle school aged that had aspergers when I was in high school... I helped them to form social skills... I know personally that it isn't easy (I have ADD and was 504 and had an IEP with an IQ in the superior range so much like people with aspergers I have some areas where I'm way ahead of the curb and others were things will never come easy to me and had to fight so hard to get the "cool" kids to respect and like me and only once they did did I realize that the ones who gave me a hard time actually were the biggest losers). My advice is to become friends with girls first (the nice ones who seem to befriend anyone and if someone drops something they bend down to help right away... Avoid the girls who act like they always know something that no one else does and only hang out with girls in their sorority. Those are usually the idiots and they act that way to seem like they are better then they actually are)... People in general search for faults on a first date (I'm sure you do this to girls weather you're aware or not)... But people are much less judgmental of their friends and it allows for the girls to get to know you for you and they will (if they are worth it) see past your quirks and will let you know when your on a bit of a rant and will help you be more aware... There are girls like this... Personally I also have dated guys who have something imperfect about them and they never judge me about having ADD (maybe tease me a little but I think that if you can't laugh at yourself then you can't live with yourself).. The bottom line though you need to be OK with yourself and love yourself.. It doesn't mean you don't have a right to get frustrated but I'm sure you're a great guy! I hope this helps :)0