Should I focus on school/work and expect a dating life?

I'll try to keep this brief. I'm getting really frustrated because, while I have a decent social life and I'm in no way a social outcast (even though I'm a fanatic gamer and study Physics!), I just can't get any action in the dating department. The truth is, I was a very shy person all the way through high-school, but I managed to get a 2 year relationship which included some first sexual experiences. After that, the breakup sent me into a downward spiral, but after a lot of work including self acceptance and just manning up, I can safely say I'm a better man now. Girls in my groups usually get along well with me, but I never get past that stage.

I tend to get in such conversations with my dad, and there's always one piece of advice he gives me: just stop going after it and it will come. Of course he doesn't suggest staying at home and just magically expect girls to come; he just says that I shouldn't pursue a sexual or serious relationship aggressively. I used to ignore his wisdom, but lately I've started considering. Seeing as I started improving my botched school progress, I got into a kickboxing class, have a part-time job and some ambitions about becoming a game developer, I've got a lot of things to fill my time with.

Do you think I should just change my priorities into those above and just relax when it comes to dating? Simply hang out whenever I can and try to meet people? Or does dating DOES take effort and prioritization?

Thanks in advance!


Most Helpful Guy

  • I think it does take some effort and prioritization, but perhaps not as much as you think. You can still hook up with people while doing the things that are keeping you occupied atm


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What Girls Said 1

  • As soon as you relax and enjoy life you give off a new wibe, people are attracted to that. Being to focused on dating can give off a desperate wibe and girls usually stay away from guys who seem desperate.

    Any time in my life that I've decided to stop dating and focus on studies, friends etc someone always shows up.

    dating is fun but it's not your first priority, girls and guys come and go there's no point in ruining you future (education) for someone who may or may not show up/stick around.


What Guys Said 1

  • Dating life will always follow a successful career. So focus on your career at the moment.