Is it cheating if?...

This guy and I have been talking for a couple of months now and we're both really interested in each other. We talk everyday and pretty much share everything with each other. The only problem is he lives in Italy and I in Canada! Even though we just Skype with each other it's obvious we have very strong chemistry and we would be a couple if it wasn't for the distance. Is it sort of cheating if I date other guys? I know we're not a couple, but we act just like one and I feel guilty just thinking about it! We had a talk about this (long ago) and he said that he expected me to date other guys, he never said that he was OK with it though. I wouldn't like it at all if he dated someone else! Even though he is a great guy and I REALLY like him, I need someone close to me, but I don't want to lose what we have. Please help!


Most Helpful Guy

  • Well, you're not cheating on the guy in Italy if you see other people, just like he's not cheating on you if he saw other people. Also, assuming neither of you were seeing anyone when you started this, then you aren't cheating by seeing each other.

    However, if either of you start seeing other people while you keep this stuff going on the internet, then you'll be two-timing whoever you see. It wouldn't be fair, and it's kinda one foot in either side. It's no good. It wouldn't be cheating if both you and the Italian guy tell each other that you're seeing other people, and agree to it, AND when you do, you tell the people you see, right from the beginning, that you have someone overseas. Otherwise yeah, I'd class this as cheating.

    So, that's pretty much the only way to do this. Keep complete open communications about this. Be clear about the rules. Discuss it, and tell both parties. However, you can't be unfair about this. If you can see other people, then so can he. Furthermore, if you can doubletime the guys you see in person, locally, then they get to double time you, and what's more, is YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO GET JEALOUS.

    Everything I said here is in the interest of fairness. Anything less, is cheating or completely unfair, as I see it.

    (Though I think this is open to discussion. Anyone reading, if you agree, vote up and chime in. If you guys think otherwise or have some modifications to what I said, or wholeheartedly disagree then please do tell me why. I welcome the discussion.)


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What Guys Said 3

  • If there is no chance of y'all meeting in the foreseeable future, you'd be insane to not date around a bit.

    • Well I've been planning a trip to Europe for a while now, so there's a very good chance that we'll meet. We talk about it and he really wants me to go.

  • The fact that you're worried means you shouldn't do it. If you would feel uncomfortable if he were dating some girl than you should date some guy. I personally think you should clarify with this guy that you only want to be friends though, from the looks of it, if your not gonna hop on a plane and be with him, it would be more beneficial to both of you to just become friends and look for other people

  • It's not cheating at all. After all, you aren't exclusive with him.


What Girls Said 4

  • Continue to talk to him, ya'll are not exclusive though. So, you can see other people. It's not cheating.

    make it exclusive, if you guys plan on meeting.

  • It is an open relationship he is your online boyfriend. I did that in the past. It is good for experienece and it is exciting

    • How long did it last and why did it end? Did you guys like talk about meeting each other and stuff like that?

    • Show All
    • I'm 23

    • All the best

  • You guys need to lay down the rules.

    If you start dating someone locally, THAT guy may not like you skyping with someone you really care about all the time. And of course, Mr. Italy may not like it either, even though they say they wouldn't mind in a theoretical way. Reality is different.

    If you want to be with him, be with him. It will take sacrifice and commitment, but that's just the way it is. If you don't want to, then you guys should ease up and just remain friends. Or, have an open relationship, and make sure your other guys KNOW about Italy.

    And he may already be seeing someone else anyway, there's no way to know from Canada.

    Have a serious talk with Mr. Italy about what you both want. No sugarcoating, be completely honest about what you want and what you need. If it can't work, then you guys need to make that decision.

    It's a difficult situation, so I wish you both the best!

  • You didn't start talking to him on this site, did you? Just asking.

    Anyway, you guys have to set the boundaries together so you need to talk to him and figure out if you want to be exclusive or not. Until you are, it's not cheating to date other people.

    • No we met on a dating site. The thing is we sort of did have a talk like that, but that was earlier in the relationship. We basically said that we didn't expect each other not to date anyone since we weren't a real couple. We're always taking about our future together though and it makes it really confusing. I'm scared to have the conversation with him because I might end up hurting and loosing him.

    • It means he's dating, if he Expects you to date:(

    • He's not though and I'm 100% sure of it. He expects me to date because he thinks I'm a great catch and knows that sooner or later I'll find another guy.