Should I apologize to this guy for manning up and speaking my mind?

I have known this guy for several years now; we met in high school. I knew in high school that he liked me, but I always just felt that he was playing me because he would always blow hot and cold. We went to college and then somehow ended up at the same university more recently. When we first met up again in the fall we hung out and we both eventually admitted that we have both liked each other for all these years. I was given the impression that we were going to make things work this time...but then nothing. He stood me up a couple times. And then started the hot and cold routine again. The only contact we had for months after was texting or Facebook. I'm also quite certain that he is with someone else now. A couple weeks ago we randomly ran into each other on campus and he completely blew me off (I said hi, he kept walking) but then he texted the next day apologizing. Quite fed up with all of this, I messaged him and told him that while I did not understand what happened with us, I did not want things to be weird, but if he felt we could not be friends, that's fine, but please just say that to me. His reply was very angry and contained no answer. I chose to not reply, and then he texted a few days ago asking if it was final and said that I made it sound like I never wanted to talk again and that he was confused and he felt I was too dramatic. I explained that it was up to him whether or not we speak, but got no reply. So, I think perhaps we have just not been on the same page all this time and I think some things that I said may have been hurtful, though I did not want to hurt him at all. I just needed to stand up for myself. I also said in the message that what passed between us was meaningless and I'm over it...but that's not true. If he does not see what he has put me through, that's fine but unfortunate. So the question is, should I apologize to him for potentially hurting him and being too "dramatic?" I have no idea what he is thinking and he won't tell me. I know we can never have a relationship at this point, but I did value our friendship dearly. I don't mind at all that he may have another girl now; I want him to be happy. The thing is that he does have so much to apologize to me for. But I don't want to be a clingy girl that just can't let it go. I don't want to be on his back burner anymore, but I do want to talk. At the very least, I don't want us to end in a fight.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Kind of sad to lose a friend like that. How about giving it another shot? Just tell him you're sorry for the things you said which you didn't mean. It's the truth afterall. It won't make you less of a 'man' to admit that part and to be the first to apologize. It's a mature and un-dramatic thing to do. However, also explain you were confused by his behavior and despite all that, you'd like to remain as friends, then wish him all the best. Then move on with Uni life and focus on less complicated men perhaps. All the best.


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What Guys Said 1

  • He's quite the jerk. He's just playing with your feelings.

    You should find a new guy because it will never work out with him.


What Girls Said 1

  • He sounds like a p**** and unless you're into women, I suggest you move on.